End of January review

[sweetpumkinpye]

Well, where did January go? In one respect January flew by, in another I cannot believe that it has only been a month since we were celebrating Christmas. It seems so long ago and Christmas 2022 seems so far away.

What worked for me this month?

• CHRISTMAS
• I was very aware of the post Christmas Blues which I seem to suffer from more as the years move on. The first thing I did was to pack away all of Christmas very early, it was all packed away by December 27th. This meant that the house was back to normal very quickly and I had the rest of my holiday time to do other things before returning to work on January 5th. This worked for me and I have made a note in my diary to do the same this year.
• Christmas was one of the best that I can remember, it was so relaxed and stress free, I have made lots and lots of notes in my planner.
• To get a jump start I took advantage of the online sales that happened straight after Christmas. I did my first online order on Boxing Day and made several orders throughout January. Kept the Christmas feeling alive.
• I tidied all the gift closet, organised it well and got prepared for a great year leading up to Christmas 2022.
• Revisiting HGP. I revisited the 4 main areas of our home and did a revised HGP in each one. Bathroom, Bedroom, Kitchen and Loungeroom. One a week for the 4 weeks in January.

• PERSONALLY
• This year I would like to try to connect with those who mean a lot to me more. We got together as a family several times through the month. NYE was the first get together of the year. We also had a picnic by the lake, dinner with DH sister, an Australia Day BBQ and birthday coffee and cake. This was all lovely.
• I am back to some sort of routine here at home, it took me a week or two to find the rhythm again but think I am now back on track with my 5 a week chores and the general housework/planning/organisation.
• Work. I am still not 100% comfortable at work but have told myself that it somewhat pays the bills and I am privileged to be working. I will try my hardest when I am there.

What did not work for me?

• Weight control/exercise/diet. I really fell off the wagon in December and January. With Christmas/NY and many other celebrations in January and the fact that we were not eating as well as we should and were snacking more the weight has crept on a little. Not enough that I cannot pull it back but enough that I am worried. The motivation of DD wedding is now gone and I need to find a new motivation to keep me going. I always feared that this would happen so now I just need to get to it and make it a priority.
• NYE. It was a lovely evening but I did not plan it too well. Besides dinner I had not planned any dessert, snacks or activities. The evening dragged a little and DB who had worked that day left early. So what was meant to be a night of 'celebration' was not. I have given it a bit of thought and will try and be a bit more organised this year.

Overall I am really happy with how January was for me. Certainly better than some years, maybe I am getting a handle on this adulting thing lol.
I am simply writing my thoughts here so that I can look back over the months and tweak and improve where I need to and be proud of what I achieved as well.

 

[Holiday_Mom]

What Work in January?

• We got COVID a few days after Christmas. We had cold-like symptoms. My older children who also COVID stayed with us. Quarantining together was a good idea. We had all the food and drinks and medicines and games we needed.
• We did a tree undecorating party. We had food, drinks and Christmas music playing as we took down the decorations. Lights were left up on the tree until the night before Tree Pick Up Day. This helped with the end of Christmas blues.
• Transitioning to winter décor helped with the bareness that putting away Christmas decorations creates. Artificial greens were put away at the end of January. Christmas lights are still up indoors and used at night and during the rainy/snowy gray days.
• I started new habits one week at a time. I looked at where I was spending my time and I looked at the changes I wanted to make.
• I enrolled in two online self-paced classes to prep me for upcoming classes. It was the best thing for me to do. I got a feel for using the portal and got an idea of how I was going to fit classes in with everything else.

What Didn't Work in January?

• I did well with eating over Christmas but once I made it to mid January, I started to eat whatever I wanted. That and the ice and temperatures in the teens didn't help with staying on target for fitness goals.
• I made a few mistakes with the online courses. It was frustrating but on the other hand it was good to learn this now on a pass/fail class versus a graded class.
• Expectations on housework to get done on my own was too high. There isn't enough time in the day with added classes. I will have to work on that some more.

 

[Lori K]

I agree, January 2022 went by too quickly.

What worked --

• Traveling to TX with my Mom and DSis#3, to clean out and start the process of letting go of her winter home, went better than expected. We thought Mom would either a) fight us on everything, or b) hang with her friends and let us do all of the clean-out ourselves. Neither happened. Word spread that she was there and her friends stopped by for a quick visit, and when they learned she would not be staying, they kept their visit short so we could complete what we needed to. Mom understood (or at least accepted) that she could not keep everything and that some things that were beyond repair needed to be tossed. We kept her on task and then took a beverage break. We were able to convince her that staying there was not in her best interest, turning on the heat and using the washing machine there (which hadn't been used in 2 years) was asking for problems that couldn't be repaired in the time we had in TX. DSIs#3 and I occasionally took a break to run stuff to Goodwill or grab groceries, which helped us cope. Some questions we were getting from her were asked numerous times, and we just had to accept that Mom's memory is not the same. We also connected with many of her friends who gave us hints and tips about what is going on in her park, making us even more certain that it was the right decision to begin the separation process. And, it was clear our last night there (hamburger night at their clubhouse) that her community had changed. They had self-divided into their own Covid "pods" and no one made space for 3 outsiders to join them at the clubhouse dinner, even though they knew my Mom well. We sat alone, until a couple we'd met at the pool joined us -- like DSis#3, she was a nurse and they shared stories in the hot tub. We're thankful Mom was able to get some closure, and DSis#3, who had been her biggest advocate for "just leave her be" joined the rest of us in seeing that more assistance and attention will be needed sooner rather than later.
• Christmas decor was taken down and stowed all by myself. It was a lot of work, but I got the job done in a timely manner. And then there were the stragglers that have cropped up since all the bins were stowed. Still trying to figure out where to stow these items, so that they are uncovered / rediscovered for Christmas 2022. (Found two snowflake ornaments this past week. They'd fallen off the small tree in my family room and had slipped behind the cabinet where the tree sat.)
• For the most part, I stayed within my 2022 monthly budget. I literally hate January bill-pay. Christmas expenditures show up, my travel expenses were added to it, I have a once-a-year insurance expense, and boat storage bills. And add to it, health insurance increased this year, by almost $100/month. BUT, I was under budget for auto fuel, and meals out/entertainment with my widows group, and although groceries were over-budget, it's mostly because I had to get some larger ticket items in January, including vitamins. And, I needed to get some pre-storm supplies on the 31st, whereas those would normally have been bought in my first Feb. shop. Subtracting that last purchase, I was only about $20 over -- and my vitamins, which were BOGO 50% off, accounted for $18 of that.

What didn't work --

• Keeping up with the housework. I have a plan that I follow, one that was developed over the last 15 years, and it works to keep me on top of things, especially since it's just me now. But I simply lost motivation this month. Not the winter blues, due to reduced daylight and the cold temps. It was more of "what's the point, it's just me ..." -- that woe is me mentality, and I know I have to pull myself out of that mindset or a downward spiral will set in. It's a battle that lots of widows struggle with.
• Outdoor exercise was limited due to the weather. Lots of snow, lots of ice on the sidewalks, so outdoor walking was limited to the essential time out to make sure pup did his business. Here's to hoping that Feb. weather improves. If not, a friend and I are planning on walking weekly at an indoor facility.

Here's to a better February!

 

[jampss]

Yeah, for some reason it's hard to believe it's Feb. And ... six days in!

I hear ya on not being motivated on cleaning or exercising. The damp cold is ... yucky. But we had some nice days as well and over all, I did try to walk on friend's farm when sunny and stick to the YT videos for indoor exercising. I did pretty well with a no spend on yarn January or much of anything but groceries.

 

[AnnieClaus]

This January was a really good one for me.
I was a bit concerned when we were heading into the 2nd week, and I wasn't "On top" of starting my goals. But I almost instantly realized, that week is a "half foot in, half foot out," kind of week.

I left my Christmas tree up through the first week of January and I like doing that. Sometimes I feel that first week of January is my own personal relish in Christmas week. I watched Hallmark movies and just really enjoyed sitting by my tree.

I did very well on making progress on my goals. I have 3 "life areas" I am working on in 2022. And if I make good progress in those 3 areas in this year, I will feel successful.

And I did consistently work on those areas throughout the month.
Now on to February and I am planning for the same.

Little by little, day by day.

Annie

 

[sweetpumkinpye]

• We got COVID a few days after Christmas. We had cold-like symptoms. My older children who also COVID stayed with us. Quarantining together was a good idea. We had all the food and drinks and medicines and games we needed.
• We did a tree undecorating party. We had food, drinks and Christmas music playing as we took down the decorations. Lights were left up on the tree until the night before Tree Pick Up Day. This helped with the end of Christmas blues.

Mary, I hope that you are all fully recovered now.
I love the idea of an undecorating party. Sounds like a fun way to say goodbye to Christmas.

 

[sweetpumkinpye]

It was more of "what's the point, it's just me ..." -- that woe is me mentality, and I know I have to pull myself out of that mindset or a downward spiral will set in. It's a battle that lots of widows struggle with.

Lori, I am sorry that you were feeling like this. I hope that by sharing your feelings here we were able to help in some way. Please reach out if you need to.

 

[sweetpumkinpye]

I did pretty well with a no spend on yarn January or much of anything but groceries.

Well done. I must admit I do like shopping so doing a no spend month would be a challenge.

 

[sweetpumkinpye]

I did very well on making progress on my goals. I have 3 "life areas" I am working on in 2022. And if I make good progress in those 3 areas in this year, I will feel successful.

And I did consistently work on those areas throughout the month.
Now on to February and I am planning for the same.

Little by little, day by day.

I love this. You are consistently hitting goals so far this year. Keep going.

 

[jampss]

Lori, I am sorry that you were feeling like this. I hope that by sharing your feelings here we were able to help in some way. Please reach out if you need to.

@Lori K Yes, reach out. And I, too, hope sharing helps you. My friend lost her husband six years ago to a sudden brain aneurysm. She is still having a difficult time. And even though they started out as best friends, his mental illness of OCD got worse. He didn't see it and didn't think he needed help, but she and her son (he's now 21) did and everyone else did. I certainly did as I am dealing with OCD in my own DS18. I am thankful he has had therapy growing up.

I believe she is still mourning the marriage she wished she had had. But on the positive, she sold her home, moved to a sweet place on a lake with the dog, has a job at a Christian camp on the lake and is doing well. Us homeschooling moms rallied around her and helped her clean and paint and stage her home to sell. Her son is living and working in town. He is my DS's good friend since little kids. This friend is older than me by 4 or 5 years, and even though I am a widow (at age 22), her being an older woman lossing her husband was different, but I tried to just "be there" for her. The day it happened, I went to the hospital and just sat in the room with her all night long and let her talk, cry, be mad ... eventually, she had to make the decision ....

 

[Lori K]

Thank you, everyone, for your concern. It's been almost 8 years since my DH passed (suddenly and unexpectedly -- heart attack, age 62, no signs or symptoms, had just gotten a clean bill of health from his doctor), but sometimes a little depression still creeps back in. By naming it and putting it out there, it helps me deal with it and get myself back on track. Appreciate your understanding, and knowing that you're there is truly helpful.

 

[AnnieClaus]

Lori- Glad we can take this journey with you.
I am proud of the way you still get out and do things and interact with others.

Annie

 

[sweetpumkinpye]

Thank you, everyone, for your concern. It's been almost 8 years since my DH passed (suddenly and unexpectedly -- heart attack, age 62, no signs or symptoms, had just gotten a clean bill of health from his doctor), but sometimes a little depression still creeps back in. By naming it and putting it out there, it helps me deal with it and get myself back on track. Appreciate your understanding, and knowing that you're there is truly helpful.

Sending hugs to you.

 

[sweetpumkinpye]

Lori- Glad we can take this journey with you.
I am proud of the way you still get out and do things and interact with others.

Perfectly said Annie.

 

[Holiday_Mom]

Mary, I hope that you are all fully recovered now.
I love the idea of an undecorating party. Sounds like a fun way to say goodbye to Christmas.

Yes, we are feeling fine to date.

"what's the point, it's just me ..."

Lori, just throwing this out - would inviting someone over for a monthly coffee/tea be a good motivator for keep up with the housecleaning?

 

[Lori K]

Yes, we are feeling fine to date.

Lori, just throwing this out - would inviting someone over for a monthly coffee/tea be a good motivator for keep up with the housecleaning?

Thanks for your concern and the suggestion, @Holiday_Mom. It's not like my place is terribly disorganized or unclean. But, given it's size and being 3 levels, it will catch up with me if I don't stay on top of it. The main living area is kept up, though I sometimes don't vacuum the area rugs or damp mop the hardwoods as often as I should. Its the upstairs (3rd level) or my office area (1st level, off the garage) that no one would see. When I find myself in the doldrums, that's what tends to get shoved aside. Some days (though not often) it's just like I want to stay in my PJs all day and do nothing. That's OK once in awhile, but I can't let it become habit or the norm. And, that's where January was headed, and I can't let the "woe is me" bring me down. I'm good and Feb. is being much kinder to me.