Monkey Wrench in the Works

[RosieLB]

:slap:

I just got a call from dh. My bil (his step-brother) is coming into town tomorrow and is looking for a place to stay for a couple of weeks (bil is a freelance photographer and periodically finds himself working on projects in our city).

It'll be great to see him, and he's a good guy...but, but, but my house...it's a shambles! AND I was gonna start on the GHP this weekend!

I can still do so - start on the GHP, I mean. It's just...dh was going to be out of the house for most of the weekend at a conference, and I was going to have the place to myself. :-(

I want to throw a temper-tantrum, but I won't. Sigh.

(Jeez, my house is a mess! What am I gonna do?)

 

[SparkleNana]

RosieLB - put yourself in your brother-in-law's place. You call up a relative and ask if you can freeload for two weeks. They say yes. They actually like you. They are going to be nice to you for two weeks. Now - how much would you care if the house was a mess? Zero? That's how much I would care.

Your husband will be gone this weekend. Every woman that I know LOVES it when her husband goes away for the weekend, because she doesn't have to cook for him and take care of him. Tell your brother-in-law that you're not going to be cooking since you are going to be devoting yourself to some projects. And having a little break from cooking. Ask him if he will get (and pay for) chinese food for both of you to eat and snack on all the leftovers. Or tell him that he can cook for you as long as he does the shopping and all the cleaning up. Tell him what you like - steak, or whatever.

If your brother-in-law is at your house for 2 weeks, he will see lots of progress in your house. And he will probably get to eat lots of the meals you cook for your husband.

Just my opinion.

 

[happy2bme]

Amen SparkleNana!!!

I agree 100%!!

arty: Melanie

 

[RosieLB]

Tell your brother-in-law that you're not going to be cooking since you are going to be devoting yourself to some projects. And having a little break from cooking. Ask him if he will get (and pay for) chinese food for both of you to eat and snack on all the leftovers. Or tell him that he can cook for you as long as he does the shopping and all the cleaning up. Tell him what you like - steak, or whatever.

I LOVE IT! And to tell the truth...bil is a man - and I mean that in a nice way, but - I've seen his place and it isn't...um...exactly a Martha Stewart Dream Come True.

 

[Ahorsesoul]

Your bil is a monkey wrench only if you let it be so. I agree there is no need to wait on him. You are providing him free lodging, that's enough. Just let him know you are busy with a project, just like he is busy with his photo shoots. Both are jobs.

 

[Deckr8r]

I love those resposes to RosieLB. I learn so much from y'all. When I read her first post I was in a panic for her and I would have handled it very negatively and been mad at DH and things would have gone from bad to worse. I am the monkey wrench in my life and I have to try to be more positive. Thanks for the lesson.

I'm wishing you an awesome two weeks RosieLB. :flower:

 

[aggy]

Tell your brother-in-law that you're not going to be cooking since you are going to be devoting yourself to some projects. And having a little break from cooking. Ask him if he will get (and pay for) chinese food for both of you to eat and snack on all the leftovers. Or tell him that he can cook for you as long as he does the shopping and all the cleaning up. Tell him what you like - steak, or whatever.

I LOVE IT! And to tell the truth...bil is a man - and I mean that in a nice way, but - I've seen his place and it isn't...um...exactly a Martha Stewart Dream Come True.

If BIL's place isn't as you say "Martha Stewart dream come true" then I doubt if he will notice your house. Then too, he may be out a lot anyways on photo shoots.

 

[RosieLB]

Slight update: after I got home from work last night, dh mentioned that he actually invited bil to stay with us - mainly because bil's lodging plans weren't fully worked out when he called yesterday (he was waiting for a call back from some guy at whose place he was going to crash).

Knowing that, I completely agree that the dh was right in saying "You don't have a place to stay? Yes, you do! You're staying with us."

I just wanted to let you know that bil isn't quite the freeloader he sounded like yesterday.

 

[SparkleNana]

RosieLB -- I don't think your brother-in-law is bad! I think it is wonderful when family wants to stay with us! (I should have never called him a "free-loader. That was bad. I should have just pointed out that it is a wonderful gift when somebody invites you to save so much money and be more comfortable by staying with them.) I just wanted you to feel comfortable with him being there -- and not feel that your house had to be "perfect" because he was coming to stay.

 

[snowlvr]

It has been my experience that men want the following when they are house guests:
1. A working TV
2. A working bathroom
3. A working fridge

The rest is all gravy! Unless he is a neat freak, and I don't imagine he is, if he is an artistic photographer type..it'll be fine! BUT I also understand-completely- the need to do the HGP!!
Sigh...we just can't help it, monkey wrenches just aren't our style!

 

[I'm a believer]

Lots of wise advice is coming in. Now for my not so wise...you can still get on with your plans, I am sure that your bil doesn't expect you to entertain him. You never know there may be something he can help you with (if you trust him to do a good job that is).

 

[SparkleNana]

RosieLB -- I was quick to give you advice -- and exactly the same thing happened to me! Unexpected houseguests - evacuated because of Hurricane Gustav on the gulf coast! I quickly realized how EASY it is to give advice..... Gulp! Of course, panic set in -- how could I be the perfect hostess since I was working on a big reorganizing project! My house was far from perfect. The real me would be exposed. So - I took a deep breath and decided to proceed with my project plans -- and just give them the genuine welcome I felt in my heart. I put aside (for now) my dreams of being the perfect hostess to houseguests.


I let them, and other family members, arrange their own schedules and fill their own needs! I love to control the lives of everyone else -- but I stepped back. I was loving, and available to do everything I was asked. Otherwise, my husband and I just continued on with our own work.

So far, so good! Everyone is still here. They all have their genuine worries about their homes - and memories of the looting that went on after Hurricane Katrina. They seem glad to know that we love them and welcome them -- and that they are not causing us to cancel our own lives because they came.