Christmas Survey 2020

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PamelaG

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This year, I sent a Christmas survey to my family members. As you know, there are just the three of us but we're coming from three different locations and the amount of time we have together may be limited. I decided that instead of doing ALL the planning, I would ask Vic and Sophia what they would like to do this holiday season and plan around that. Sort of an expectations vs. reality exercise. I know that I could cram every hour of the calendar with something holiday-related but this year, I thought I'd let them take the lead to make a list and I'd do the planning from that. I phrased the survey in the form of yes or no questions, gave some choices where applicable, and even included what types of food and drinks they would like me to have on hand (since last year I bought everything I THOUGHT they would like, and ended up giving most of it away).

So, has anyone else thought about an idea like this?
 

luludou

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Dec 28, 2007
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I think it's a great idea! I'll give it some thought might have to do something like that especially this year with covid-19
 

Holiday_Mom

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I've been doing this every year with the family since my kids were little. We are a family of 7 with "kids" aged 21 to 13 now. I ask what are their top 3 things that makes Christmas feel like Christmas to them. I've always said that I can't guarantee that all three things will get done but I will do my hardest to make sure the first item on each person's list is done. Most of the time, the top three things over lap with everyone.

It does help me with expectations and with planning. I love having everyone home but the older four are usually out and about doing their own thing. Christmas Eve is now the time we are all home. That will change too some day. This year I'll be starting to focus on what makes Christmas seem like Christmas to me.

I think you'll find it freeing in it's own way.
 

DecemberisComing

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Jun 22, 2020
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This year, I sent a Christmas survey to my family members. As you know, there are just the three of us but we're coming from three different locations and the amount of time we have together may be limited. I decided that instead of doing ALL the planning, I would ask Vic and Sophia what they would like to do this holiday season and plan around that. Sort of an expectations vs. reality exercise. I know that I could cram every hour of the calendar with something holiday-related but this year, I thought I'd let them take the lead to make a list and I'd do the planning from that. I phrased the survey in the form of yes or no questions, gave some choices where applicable, and even included what types of food and drinks they would like me to have on hand (since last year I bought everything I THOUGHT they would like, and ended up giving most of it away).

So, has anyone else thought about an idea like this?
I can't wait to hear about the feedback you get and how you proceed and the changes that you make! As the years have gone by I have realized that some of the labor intensive things that I thought other people looked forward to weren't the bright spots I thought they were. For example, the double dipped Chocolate Peanuts that I thought everyone loved were barely touched, and none of us need to indulge in things like that, but I won't lie, it stung a little bit that I had spent the time and effort in making them to realize they were no longer a "treat". And I think this is the year to get back to "basics" and focus on the things that we value most about the holidays
 

Minta

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Oct 14, 2007
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I will hold a family meeting or 2 to discuss the holidays with DH and the kids. We cover things we want to do, places to visit, things to do, what goodies to bake, etc and I plan according to that. This year will be very different since we will cutting out a lot of activities outside the house due to covid.
 

rabble

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Jun 19, 2020
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I will hold a family meeting or 2 to discuss the holidays with DH and the kids. We cover things we want to do, places to visit, things to do, what goodies to bake, etc and I plan according to that. This year will be very different since we will cutting out a lot of activities outside the house due to covid.
Yeah, there'll definitely be a lot of changes this year!
 

piratemamaof3boys

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Nov 8, 2008
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What an interesting idea. My boys are 16-21 and as teen boys I don't see them often (locked in their room lol) and seem uninterested in everything :rolleyes: as long as they say " I don't know" this could help a lot.
 

sweetpumkinpye

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Apr 23, 2008
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We really only have DS here now and the last few years have been different for us. He has been very good when I ask him questions about Christmas.
I don't dare ask DD and DFSIL what they might want to be doing this far out, I am sure she will roll her eyes right out the door. :rolleyes:
 

Ahorsesoul

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Oct 13, 2007
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Years ago I started a rule. You get what you give me.Years ago Christmas comes everyone has gifts except ex-dh. It was the best eye opener. All of a sudden he had gifts for everyone on all the holidays and Birthdays. And if I ask a person what they want and they can't give me ideas they will get what I decide. Usually underwear and socks or something non exciting. Also a wake up call. I love buying gifts for people. I listen all year for ideas. I do have to write them down because I'm getting really forgetful as I age. I'll remember after the holiday. lol

Dh now does not care if we do anything or not. So it up to me. I enjoy the season so I make a big thing out of it. One year (was just the two of us) I didn't even put up a tree, cook dinner. Nothing. He did decide he liked the holiday after that.
 

PamelaG

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Years ago I started a rule. You get what you give me.Years ago Christmas comes everyone has gifts except ex-dh. It was the best eye opener. All of a sudden he had gifts for everyone on all the holidays and Birthdays. And if I ask a person what they want and they can't give me ideas they will get what I decide. Usually underwear and socks or something non exciting. Also a wake up call. I love buying gifts for people. I listen all year for ideas. I do have to write them down because I'm getting really forgetful as I age. I'll remember after the holiday. lol

Dh now does not care if we do anything or not. So it up to me. I enjoy the season so I make a big thing out of it. One year (was just the two of us) I didn't even put up a tree, cook dinner. Nothing. He did decide he liked the holiday after that.
I always threaten Vic with underwear if he doesn't get his Christmas Wish List done. He has an absolute horror of anyone seeing him with a package of underwear - speaks to his childhood I think, the unbelievably repressed environment he grew up in, there was never any mention of the slightest thing that could be considered taboo (I don't really consider the mention of underwear taboo, do you?). In our household, we'd hoot and holler when anyone got a package of underwear, it was always a joke.
 

MrsSoup

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Oct 13, 2007
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I like this idea!! May I ask what type of questions you put on your survey if you don't mind sharing? I think this might be a great idea to do with my family this year.
 

PamelaG

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May 27, 2011
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I like this idea!! May I ask what type of questions you put on your survey if you don't mind sharing? I think this might be a great idea to do with my family this year.
I've attached it - I just took everything I could possibly think of regarding our holidays and asked for input. Let me know if anything needs clarification.
 

Attachments

MrsSoup

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Oct 13, 2007
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Hawai'i
I've attached it - I just took everything I could possibly think of regarding our holidays and asked for input. Let me know if anything needs clarification.
Thank you!
 

sweetpumkinpye

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Apr 23, 2008
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It would be interesting to ask DH and DS to fill in this survey. I think I know them well but I may be surprised by their answers.
 

PamelaG

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It would be interesting to ask DH and DS to fill in this survey. I think I know them well but I may be surprised by their answers.
I got a few surprises!
 

sweetpumkinpye

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I will give this to the boys some stage this week and see what their responses are. Still early enough to change plans if needed.
 

Myron's Mom

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I’ve been asking some of those questions here and there the last couple of years. I usually get the same answer from my husband - the change (what ever it is) will probably “disappoint”our son. So I’ve been asking him first. Funny that our son goes with the flow, I always give an explanation of why I am wanting to change something. I think it’s more my husband and he doesn’t want or like change. Our celebrations have changed so much over the last 10 years due to the deaths of family members. We’ve gone from a house full to just the 3 of us so changes are bound to happen. Not to mention we are getting older too.
 

Ahorsesoul

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Oct 13, 2007
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Thanks Pamela! If I ask my Dh he always say "whatever makes you happy". Would be fun to fly off on Vacation one year--by myself. lol