Help Me Counter The Nay-Sayers?

[mommabear]

If I may be crass for a moment.....I promise no cursing involved.

It is nice to have other appreciate our work. I am a mother of 4 with a large house and husband and animals. I do flylady as well and I enjoy life. I started HGP last year because of one of the girls on the sheforums and i loved it. Where ever I go, be it here or sheforums or a few other boards I go to every now and again I always find that others enjoy HGP and the time that has gone into it. Some change it up to suite their needs, some like me do it exactly the way it shows there. Some things I dont get done but I absolutely do the cooking and just this past spring finished what was left in my freezer. I do a lot of holiday cookies from scratch and because of HGP i had them done this past xmas.

I don't have a maid, I don't have a nanny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I grew up in a neighborhood that was poor/middle class or making ends meet. Most lived hand to mouth. I live NOW in an area that down the street are expensive houses and richer neighborhoods to the right of them but 20 blocks from them is a poor area. We live in farm area where the farmers are a dying breed. I am from city parts but I am a true country girl. I have seen bikers to excecutives and let me tell you, the ones that say "oh why would you be so anal about starting stuff for xmas soooooo early are the ones that have the money to go anywhere anytime they want to go shopping OR have someone do it for them" have enough money to buy what ever it is at full price and not care one bit, have their maid or nanny go shopping for them while the wife sits there doing nothing except bickering to the neighbor next to her at the salon while they get their nails done for the 3rd time that week. OR like someone already said...those are the people that freak out december 1st saying Oh my God what was I thinking."

I had one person say to me "are you crazy? why in the hell (their word not mine) would you start xmas planning August 31st" "you are out of your mind"....

I tell people that I wasn't getting xmas stuff started on August 31st. I WAS getting my house cleaned in a timely fashion before the holidays come and by december I will have no worries...What are your plans ? THey walk away from me after I say that and then ask what are your plans.

I have no time for people who can not open their eyes and just say oh wow that's great that you do something like that. It isn't for me but kudos to you. If people are complaining about it then they have too much time on their hands and aren't very nice people.

I will say this as I have said in the sheforums.....HGP has given me serenity and I enjoy that!!! Between my plans and my control journal my house is "most of the time, remember I have kids" is a wonderful thing to me.

Ok i'moff my soap box and not ranting about the baahumbugs out there anymore.

Hugs to all

 

[aggy]

All I can say is Amen. Nicely put mamabear. :applause:

 

[SparkleNana]

Well put, Mamabear - and Cathymac - and everyone who posed here. We love CEO and she helps us tremendously! We have fun here all year! And we enjoy Christmas all year -- and even more so in the months leading up to Christmas!

Of course there are people who are not like us! They think we are silly for enjoying this so much. We might think they are silly for playing online poker or for going fishing - or whatever they enjoy. But we are too adorable to criticize them!

CEO - we are all having such a good time, and you are helping us so much! Thank you! :grouphug:

 

[starflake]

Meh, nay-sayers will always exist, no matter the facet of life. If it feels truly right and good in your heart, follow the path (your unique journey). No need to defend. Takes two to fight; why fuel? Personally, I prefer to acknowledge those who choose to live a peaceful, pluralistic coexistence of mutual respect and forget the rest. It feels like home here, and there are so many kindred spirits in this community that fit. Not everyone experiences the same fits and that's perfectly beautiful. Such is the diversity of being.

 

[FrostyShimmer]

Some people may make fun of our need to plan in advance, but come Christmas Eve when they're trying to hurry through crowded stores before hitting the drive-through at McDonald's so they'll have takeout to feed their family while they prepare for an all-night gift-wrapping marathon and wondering whether or not they can defrost the turkey in the microwave....then they'll be sorry *rubbing hands together wickedly* Yes, then they'll be sorry. lol.

I start my Christmas countdown on Boxing Day. By time August rolls around people are surprised my tree isn't already up. lol.

:bigsnow:

 

[mommabear]

arty: We will be the ones who triumph. We can only pray that people who fuss will figure it out one day.

 

[SparkleNana]

It hurts to have someone make fun of us.

I recently rented a CD from Cracker Barrel to listen to on a long drive. I had never used a CD before this. I did not know that CD's are only printed on one side. (Tapes are recorded on two sides, and flip over automatically when you are listening to them.) I told the young woman at the Cracker Barrel counter that there was something wrong with the CD I had rented, because the reverse side is blank. She explained the "one=side" rule of CD's. Then, when I stepped away from the counter -- she called some of the other employees over to laugh at me. I felt really hurt and embarassed and stupid.

But --- I don't think I am really that important in the lives of the young people working at Cracker Barrel. It was just a laugh to them. Whether or not they think I am an ignorant old fossil = I will never see them again. It is just a really good lesson to me about how painful ridicule can be to human beings.

We Christmas Lovers love and admire CEO, and we are really really grateful to her for the effort she takes to make Christmas more joyful for us and for our loved ones. I am truly sorry that she has suffered pain because of her efforts to help us.

 

[mommabear]

Now see it's people like that that make me wanna go find them and smack them upside their head and say "where are your manners child?!!!" but again that is just me and my bearish ways. You are a better woman than I am, I would have turned around and asked to speak to their manager.

THere are foolish people out there, you being naive doesn't mean they should be ignorant or disrespectful.

I didn't know at the age of 23 how to use a phone card. I asked my dh, then my boyfriend and he explained it to me even though he was in shock I didn't know how to. He didn't laugh at all. GOes to show you that laughing at someone only shows the caliber of that person laughing.

Hugs to you and KUDOS to you for learning something new!!!!!!

Mamab

 

[snowball]

Of course, some of the language used by the detractors was, well, irritating. "Deranged" was one of the milder terms applied to us.
CEO

I think it (HGP intro) reads well. I'm happy to be a "Deranged" HGP/HHPer!!!!!
:santalol:

 

[Tasha]

Tasha...I can answer that "why do you care"..because anyone who writes...just about anything .....cares...we want people to like and appreciate our work...and in this case plan! We want to know that what we spend time on makes a difference to people. Pure and Simple...and I suppose any career not just writing....as a teacher I knew I couldn't please every parent...but I sure wanted to.....as a counselor I know I can't help every person but I still want to...I think we can all say that about what we "do".

I get that. I really do. But, at the same time if you let all the comments get to you life will not be worth living. I like to focus on the positive. Let them scramble around and laugh when they can't get it all done. You know what a calming effect it can have to do the plan that is all that matters.

 

[InstantMom]

May I testify?

Six years ago, I was one of those folks who starts Christmas prep the day after Thanksgiving, and during that season of my life, a month was plenty of time.

Then I got married and became mom to two boys who had never had a proper mother in their lives. The next Christmas found me pregnant, overwhelmed, running up the credit cards, and running around like the proverbial headless chicken because I thought I had to do everything I saw in every Christmas magazine - and yes, I bought them all. Christmas was neither a holy day, nor a holiday for us that year.

Fast-forward to August 2007, when I found the OC forums and the HHP. I was already a fan of CEO's OH site, and I was so hopeful that OC could be as helpful. I worked the plan, starting with the family values worksheet, and adapting the weekly tasks to my priorities and limitations, and guess what? I didn't have to take direction from the world of retail or mass media; I decided for myself what our Christmas was going to be like.

The beauty of the HHP is that it puts YOU back in control of your family's celebration. I no longer "do" Christmas in default mode, blindly following the consumer crowd - I celebrate Christmas mindfully and intentionally with the people who are dearest to me. And I will be grateful to CEO for years to come for showing me how to do it.

MaryAnn

 

[christmascreations]

Great job InstantMom!!! It really is more pleasant when we focus on our families needs rather than societal values. Now if I can get the rest of my dad's family to see this I just might have a nice Christmas here in Florida with them.

 

[Winged One]

I am only new to the HGP and suchlike, but have been trying to do something similar on my own for the past few years. It helps that on a parenting forum I am on, we have a thread (the "Christmas Freaks and Dossers") from sometime around early autumn/late summer (and it seems to get earlier each year).

I have a master gift list on excel, where I have a new worksheet rolled over on a yearly basis. This has what I actually gave everyone since 2002, and costs. For the coming Holiday, it has ideas, actual costs, what is bought and yet to buy (or make), how much I have spent so far and expect to still spend, an original budget per person, and each of those money columns is totalled as well (which is great to help keep track). I have about 35 to buy for.

Last year, I was trying to follow another US plan, but in the throes of writing a dissertation for my Masters degree and working fulltime. So it came together in the end but not quite as relaxed as planned and I didn't get as much family time as I'd hoped. My aim is to get the shopping done early so that we can all enjoy trips to town to people watch, enjoy the lights, let the toddler buy her few pressies etc in relative calm. And also get to have time to enjoy decorating and baking at home, and getting out to places other than the shops (for walks in the woods or trips to the playground). This year, I am also hoping to get time to go to a few carol services as I have missed those since the toddler arrived.

This year, the dissertation is handed in, and the toddler is a bit older. On the other hand, we are travelling for the holidays themselves (but the man in red has already secretly left the toddler's main gift in her Grannie's attic for easy delivery after it was on half price special during our summer holidays down there).

I need to get our house properly organised, and make sure that I stay on track for getting all the presents bought and my homemade gifts made on time without getting over-stressed. So I am looking forward to joining the ranks of Christmas Elves here.

Winged One

OOPs, I forgot to add that, although I start planning Christmas very early, I tend to not say much to others about it apart from the other "Christmas Freaks and Dossers". Where we will all plan away, let each other know where the bargains are, give ideas for homemade hampers rather than unsuitable store versions etc. But we tend to focus on planning and buying to put away rather than decorating until late November (I am someone who is not mad about seeing Christmas displays in stores until late autumn -I want shorts in August, not tinsel and baubles).

I'm probably not explaining my wish to avoid rampant commercialism and try to get more into the spirit of Christmas, having time to reflect on the year and on the meaning of the season, and trying to ensure I have a nice gift that suits everyone rather than something picked at random at the last minute because it costs the right amount (and I often end up with very nice looking gifts that are a fraction of the cost originally budgeted through careful planning). But Flylady's idea of being on a cruise from 1st december is such a great one - having all of December for family and true festive things - that that is what I am aiming for again this year, only with the added bonus of a thoroughly clean and decluttered house!!

 

[mommabear]

If I may comment before I say what i did today.

Instantmom, It takes a strong woman to marry a man that already has children, It takes a stronger one love them as her own, It takes a true mother to add one of her own to that kind of love. My the warmth in your heart remind you that even on the bad days it's just another day they are all going growing up healthy. :grouphug:

Ok now that said .... I havemy old excel spreadsheet from last year with all of my lists on it. I have Gift list, address card list, what to buy and what we have in stock. Whooo hooooooooo

 

[sweetpumkinpye]

I have always been very organised when it comes to christmas. My family sit down on boxing day and talk about what was good/bad about the christmas season and what we might like to try next year. I start shopping at the January sales and continue all year. We always have a happy, relaxed time because I am relaxed and calm...because I follow plans such as HGP. I do not say too much to my work colleagues about my habits as they tend to laugh at me, but I have the last laugh when in mid December they are running around with absolutely no idea what they are going to do, and I am enjoying the season and all that goes with it.
Keep up the good work everyone.

 

[Cinnamonstix]

:bang: to the nay-sayers.

I love this place, Christmas Day itself is always a sad day in my heart(personal issue). No where is it mentioned that there are rules to be followed and that Christmas needs to be done in a certain way...that's what's so special about here.

I am a very organized person but I need to hear the joy that Christmas brings to others and the sweet stories that follow...about how a parent searched forever for a special toy but how the child played more with the box instead. It's the little things that make Christmas.

Some people love the structure of a plan to follow and I am so grateful that there is one to those who need it, others like myself have too much time on their hands and need the friendship and the love of Christmas that is shown on here. Either way there is something to be had and shared by all.

:applause: for having it all here in one place...