Inspiring or Demoralizing?

[SparkleNana]

There is a quote on http://www.thebratfactor.com today - which I really liked. It is:

"Striving for excellence is inspiring; striving for perfection is demoralizing." by Harriet


I am guilty of seting some sort of image in my mind -- and then beating myself up because I haven't achieved it. (And the beating up can go on for long, long periods of time - like months or years.) The beating up keeps me quite busy - too busy to enjoy beautiful moments during the day. Too busy for happiness and gratitude. (I can keep myself occupied all year fretting about the fact that my office/guest room isn't organized. I can make myself feel sick to my stomach anytime at all just by thinking about it. It is truly demoralizing.) I don't like it and I am going to try not to do it. :globe:

 

[starflake]

I think that's a wonderful reminder. Thank you for sharing it! :flower:

My perfectionist tendencies are rooted in my childhood, where I had to "earn" my parents' love by achieving and always doing-doing-doing. They were spiritually uneasy people. I donned the fanciest labels/titles for my work, but it was never enough and certainly didn't make me happy. It wasn't until I removed myself from all of that and took a nice vacation that I could finally understand and heal. I had always mentally tried to believe "You're beautiful just the way you are" and tried to convince myself that everyone has an intrinsic value just for "being" but it took years for that to settle into my heart and true self-esteem to grow. Now I don't need to "earn" anything; I can simply "be." Silence and peaceful meditation are my friends, not enemies, and I can judge much more clearly when "enough" really is enough. While I slip into my old conditioning from time to time, I climb back out much more quickly now. I strive for excellence (to suit me and my world view personally), but not perfectionism (which, for me, was to suit others' false selves and views of me) -- just like the quote. :rnament:

 

[Snowbelle27]

Love that quote SparkleNana TFS!

I must try and remember it more often. I too beat myself up over the things I haven't acheived instead of rewarding myself for the things I have.

 

[cipalla]

thats a great quote, and i will tell you...you see that in the kids sports these days way to much. parents expect the best, and if they dont get it the kid suffers, cant stand to see it...but it happens. too many parents live through their kids, instead of the kids enjoying and experiencing their life for themselves.

 

[FrostyShimmer]

I think I'm going to frame that quote. Too often we aim for something that can never truly be realized, and then beat ourselves up for not accomplishing the impossible. We are our own worst critics.

 

[jingle-jo]

What a great quote! I, too am going to frame it! I am a perfectionist, but as a result I always worry about the most minor of things, I hate this, so I am going to try to change my mentality and live my life by this quote instead!

 

[Rackandrollgal]

I love it! There's a 10 step program I love and it's purpose includes the statement "we strive for progress, not perfection". After 24 years with this program, I'm still finding myself striving for perfection....and setting myself up for failure each time I do. Why beat myself up if I'm making progress - I should be happy about the progress!!!