I do too - but I did not cry!
Especially since the gifts I got them were things they needed e.g. soap, shampoo, socks. I just wrap them in big boxes and fancy paper.
Lessons Learned 2022
- Thread starter PamelaG
- Start date
Especially since the gifts I got them were things they needed e.g. soap, shampoo, socks. I just wrap them in big boxes and fancy paper.
For the last few years I have been doing a modified HGP starting in March (Autumn for us). It is not as intense as the HGP that starts in September but it allows me to get my house in shape for Winter. I will do it again this year especially as I missed a lot of the HGP towards the end of the year.
I lucked out in this department this year. One of the LCs worked the day we had Christmas so I was even in some of the photos.
I’m thinking that there is a lesson to be learned from something M said….she said that one of her best Christmases was the one during the pandemic when we just stayed home, ate dinner at our house, read books, watched movies and played games. It makes me think about why we go everywhere on Christmas Day…..is it for us or for them? So many ways to see it, I guess.
I did better with gifts being enough.
I did better with gifts being enough.
After we had our first baby I simply told DH's family that Christmas Day was for our family and we would gladly get
together with them any other day they wished as long as it aligned with DH's schedule. I said this because for 10 years I saw my sister do Christmas at home, Christmas lunch with at our house, and Christmas dinner at her in-laws. I was not going to do that with my children. I loved that we stayed home all day when we were growing up.
We actually stayed home when we were growing up too. We visited my gma on Christmas Eve and my Nana and Pap lived next door, so we didn't really have to go anywhere.
It's harder now because H is in a relationship and is pulled every which way. Hindsight is that I should have stayed home Christmas day when H was born. 24 years too late. lol Now it's expected....gotta get over my people pleasing.
Lisa- Great insight from Miss M!
My niece told all of us a couple years back that they would be home on Christmas.
If we want to see them, we are welcome over but they are not running all over the place Christmas Day.
We have Christmas dinner at her house.
My dad made the same decision when we were growing up. We would run up to Tucson to see his mom, then down
to another town where my other grandparents were.
One year he called it and said, "No more."
I think Miss M's Day of Christmas sounds wonderful!
Annie
My niece told all of us a couple years back that they would be home on Christmas.
If we want to see them, we are welcome over but they are not running all over the place Christmas Day.
We have Christmas dinner at her house.
My dad made the same decision when we were growing up. We would run up to Tucson to see his mom, then down
to another town where my other grandparents were.
One year he called it and said, "No more."
I think Miss M's Day of Christmas sounds wonderful!
Annie
I have been doing a lot of thinking regarding what I want to do in 2023. I have also been reflexing on what Christmas 2023 to look like. I like what we did gift wise this year. Minimal. We did only the stocking exchange and not the individual gifts for everyone. We focused more birthday gifts. Grandchildren get individual gifts from us. Our budget worked well. It included all food supplies and gifts and miscellaneous items.
The celebrations were to much to do in the time we had to do it in. So that is where we need to focus. Right now I am thinking of going back to NYE day.
The celebrations were to much to do in the time we had to do it in. So that is where we need to focus. Right now I am thinking of going back to NYE day.
We did this too once we had kids. We would go to my Mum and Dad's on Christmas Eve, spend Christmas at home and to DH family on boxing day. It worked while the kids were young. When the kids got older, early teens they looked forward to spending Christmas Day with their Grandparents so we swapped again.
DS mentioned that he loves his stocking every year and if he had a choice between only gifts or stockings he would choose stockings. Here we do a Santa sack so the stockings are about the size of a very large pillow case. We can get a lot in them.
Maybe that one gift could be the gift of time and experience spent with your son? Like a sporting event? Theatre? Movie and lunch? We often do this. The gift is printed on paper and put into a gift box or gift bag. Then we set the time up on the calendar and take our child out to spend time with her.
I second this idea. My DD and DSIL do very well for themselves and when they feel they need/want something, they are able to get it. For DD's birthday, I got her crochet classes that we could do together every Sat. AM. For Christmas, I got them a gift certificate for cooking classes at a shop near their home. DD and I have often gotten each other tickets to a musical or concert, and we have dinner before or after. There are lots of options that can tie into their interests or something that might be good to do together.
Of course that is an excellent suggestion. And my DS and I have always enjoyed spending time together. However, DS and DDIL are very work focused and all the plans we have made for activities this past year or so have fallen by the wayside (our annual outlet shopping trip, going to see Book of Mormon, etc. ). Can blame Covid for this too over the past 3 years.
I will just have to adjust my expectations of what the holidays mean to me and what they mean to them
Oh, this is so disappointing. I can see how this is going to be a really hard adjustment.
Something I'd change if I host Christmas dinner again is to assign dishes/desserts to those who attend even if it seems like too much food. While almost everyone brought something, two people never offered nor did they bring something to share. I never did ask them because by the time I found out they were coming, the food was assigned.
We have an open door policy here but I felt like my welcome mat was more like a stepped on doormat. This is the first time it's happened and it took me offguard. I think if everyone contributes something, then I will not feel like people are taking advantage of our generousity.
we had a get together last night and use up the food items that I bought for our pre Christmas get together. We changed plans for that last minute and ended up at DD's instead.
Well before Christmas I bought 5 or 6 cheeses and a whole variety of different crackers. Last night I used 2 cheeses, a vintage and a colby and they were both fully eaten. I am sure that the other cheeses that I bought would not have been touched. I have made a note in my planner to just buy the 2 cheeses that everyone eats and to cut down on the crackers as well. Will save money, fridge space and also wastage.
Well before Christmas I bought 5 or 6 cheeses and a whole variety of different crackers. Last night I used 2 cheeses, a vintage and a colby and they were both fully eaten. I am sure that the other cheeses that I bought would not have been touched. I have made a note in my planner to just buy the 2 cheeses that everyone eats and to cut down on the crackers as well. Will save money, fridge space and also wastage.
What worked
- Cards mailed and sent early
- No gift exchange with brothers / sister
- Less expensive gifts and less gifts
- Decluttered a little Christmas decor
- Decorate by mid-November
- Desserts done by end of November (does that weren't just didn't get done)
- Train under the tree for grandchildred
- Much more relaxing to have guests for Christmas and be able to clear up everything before NY's Eve (used to host NY's Eve)
- Was sick all of December (covid, bronchitis) + moving dd + daycare closed often - lack of time to enjoy the season
- No meat pie (would have liked to have some)
- Didn't get pictures up on the kitchen wall (dh did not put up the branch I wanted)
- Galettes not done
- Ragoût de boulettes not done
- Gifts for grandkids were last minute (had asked parent's but they ran out of time so we ended up running around for it last minute)
- $ Cards not all done in time
- Zen calendar - didn't do it... cancel or do it in January.. something to look forward to.
- Not enough spaghetti sauce in freezer to my liking
- Moving dd dec 19 - fridge and double bed to place in our house before Christmas... too much stuff in the house
- Homeless bags didn't get done (did not go back to town in December) - instead will replace with leaving stuff in community fridge a few times a year.
- Gifts - can't find time to give to everyone at the same time - we settled for Ftime on Jan. 2nd.
- Not enough casseroles ready in freezer
- Did not watch Christmas movies or listen to Christmas music
- Did not get to go to work Christmas dinner
- Start vitamins in October
- Order a small meat-pie (even if it's just for me)
- All gifts by end of November - using guidelines of costs we established this year
- Minimal gifts - made or bought (thrift store?) - BOOK AUNT for everyone... find books for each person
- All desserts by end of november
- $ Cards by mid-November
- No advent-zen calendar (could be done for January)
- No homeless bags - but leave stuff in community fridge a few times during the year
- Find a date to give gifts to all the family at the same time
- No appointments in December (dentist, etc...)
- Deliver gifts to friends at latest 1st week of december
- Questionnaire to family - which tradition is important to each of them
- Stockings - just for grandkids next year
- If DS does not do Christmas Eve, do it hear instead of NY's Eve
More of what worked:
•Shopping early and boxing up gifts as I bought them. When I was sick during the summer and tired of being in bed, husband set up my wrapping station. I was able to be productive because everything was boxed and I could just sit and wrap.
•Limiting my baking and doing it early. Majority of the cookies I froze dough balls so I could pull just a few out at a time and bake. The ones that don’t freeze well raw I baked and froze in small packages.
•Christmas movies. I bought a ton of movies for us to watch between thanksgiving and Christmas. I wrapped them in tissue paper a place in a Christmas box. We would pull 1 or 2 a night to watch. We had a few leftover so back in the gift closet until next year.
•Note in planner to buy Christmas lottery tickets when they come out in October.
•Notes in planner to check dates for annual Christmas sales/events so I can make plans to attend.
What didn’t work:
•Waiting until the last minute to make ornaments as gift. I knew I wanted to make them not sure why I didn’t get on it sooner
•Managing my appointments in December. I tried and failed. Have notes in my planner again to manage better.
•Shopping for fairy lights on QVC. I had notes in my planner but didn’t check during Christmas in July so I missed what I wanted. Have notes in my planner again.
•Shopping early and boxing up gifts as I bought them. When I was sick during the summer and tired of being in bed, husband set up my wrapping station. I was able to be productive because everything was boxed and I could just sit and wrap.
•Limiting my baking and doing it early. Majority of the cookies I froze dough balls so I could pull just a few out at a time and bake. The ones that don’t freeze well raw I baked and froze in small packages.
•Christmas movies. I bought a ton of movies for us to watch between thanksgiving and Christmas. I wrapped them in tissue paper a place in a Christmas box. We would pull 1 or 2 a night to watch. We had a few leftover so back in the gift closet until next year.
•Note in planner to buy Christmas lottery tickets when they come out in October.
•Notes in planner to check dates for annual Christmas sales/events so I can make plans to attend.
What didn’t work:
•Waiting until the last minute to make ornaments as gift. I knew I wanted to make them not sure why I didn’t get on it sooner
•Managing my appointments in December. I tried and failed. Have notes in my planner again to manage better.
•Shopping for fairy lights on QVC. I had notes in my planner but didn’t check during Christmas in July so I missed what I wanted. Have notes in my planner again.
I did this - I bought theatre tickets for February. I found a picture of the production - Into the Woods - online, printed it on a piece of paper with the date, time, and place where we will eat dinner after the performance, rolled it up like a scroll sealed with a gold seal (knew those Hallmark gold crown seals would come in handy one day!), and tucked it in the branches of the tree. No-one noticed it so after all the presents were opened, I said "There's another present hiding in the tree" and Sophia pulled it out and unrolled it. We're all looking forward to it.
I had a stack of rebate checks, we won on some of the lottery tickets that were stocking stuffers and my cousin paid me for our aunts flowers- all was deposited in the Christmas account. We decided any extra money we get like that will go in the account. Every little bit helps in the end.