The Christmas tree that just wouldn't...

Discussion in 'Holiday and Seasonal Decor' started by AuntJamelle, Nov 27, 2017.

  1. AuntJamelle

    AuntJamelle Well-Known Member

    Hello friends!

    I just have to share because I know you guys will 1) understand and 2) hopefully get a kick out of this and 3) that you will forgive me for writing a book! Feel free to skim to the capital letters and/or italics! lol

    So we have an artificial tree. This is the 3rd year we’ve used it. It’s a prelit (white lights) tree that is 12 ft tall. The sections snap together and the connectors in the trunk itself connect all the lights.

    Now, normally, I get the tree out and start getting it up when we get home from Thanksgiving dinner. This year we stayed late and by the time we got home I decided to just wait.

    So Friday morning rolls around, DH is at work and I’m trying to do the tree. First problem, the tall ladder I need to work on top part of the tree is outside and too heavy for me to move.

    Well crud.

    Ok, I had a 6ft ladder that would get me pretty far so I decided to make a start of it. Got the base setup, bottom section on, next section on, all lighting up great. Big heavy section I added next did NOT light up.

    Double crud.

    I thought maybe I didn’t get it snapped down in the trunk right – it was heavy and awkward when I was lifting it. But it was SO heavy I couldn’t get it back out again.

    So I decided to switch gears and work on other decorating until DH got home.

    Friday night – DH confirms that tree connectors are shot and the lights are not going to work on the majority of the tree. But it is assembled, tall and proud!

    Saturday morning arrives. DH is gone helping a friend. Still forgot to have him bring in tall ladder.


    Discovered I could move the tall ladder on my own – not well – but I got it in and up and in place. Narrowly avoided taking out the lights on our ceiling fans but hey – nothing broke! Had to move all the furniture in the living room to slide the ladder over to the tree that way to avoid said ceiling fans but it worked. I am woman. Hear me roar!

    Started adding white lights to the top part of the tree. So far so good.

    Then started adding colored lights over whole tree using strings I bought last year. Got about 75% done and all the colored lights went out.

    What the ??? Seriously????

    Went back to first strand, unplugged it, tested it, it was dead. Pitched it. Replaced it. Good to go. Kept working. All of the sudden, all the colored lights go out.

    Tried running lights from different outlets – thought maybe I had too many strung together. Worked great. OK! We’re good to go! At this point I am no longer singing along to the carols on the radio.

    Also by this time it’s so late in the day I had to stop because we had sitter coming so DH and I could have a date night. And a glass of WINE!!!

    Sunday morning. Pick up where I left off with lights. I’m SO close to being done. Within minutes – you guessed it – most of the colored lights went out. Finally identified what I thought was the last bad string. In between checking for the hidden camera and deep breathing exercises.

    Kept working – tree looks GREAT – I’m DONE! Started putting in picks and sprays. Went down to switch laundry – came back upstairs.


    There were tears folks. My child and my dogs were comforting me. It was not a proud moment. Have I mentioned that I was not hormonally balanced? And that all of this was going on against a background of the worst cramps ever????

    After consulting with DH we decided to pull off all the colored lights and DH would go buy LED strands instead. I apologized to him for perhaps being a bit curt is some of my conversations with him. Ahem.

    OH, and THEN the fun really got started!

    As if there wasn’t enough going on, Sunday we cooked an extra turkey just for ourselves. In a roaster oven. Which DH plugged in and had sitting open and empty on the counter.

    Which was turned on but we didn’t realize it.

    Which I grabbed to move by partly touching the inside of the pan.

    So I sat with my left hand in cold water while DH went to get the LED lights. There may have been more tears. I was honestly considering the wisdom of getting up on a ladder with how my day was going.

    Fast forward to when my hand was feeling better and I’m putting the beautiful LED lights on the tree. DH bought 12 boxes, a whole sleeve off the shelf plus a few more.

    Got through the loose boxes, things are going great. Pick up the first box out of the sleeve full and notice the one behind it is WHITE CORD, not green.

    The rest were all that way. Someone had put a box back in the wrong spot and DH hadn’t realized when he grabbed the whole shelf full.

    SO BACK to the store I go to exchange them – this is around 2PM I think.

    I needed to exchange 8 boxes. They had 7 left. Whatever. I’m a hand down people! At this point, what’s one box???? Small potatoes!!! I laughed at this trivial last attempt by the universe to make me lose my mind. HAHAHAHAHAHA! HA!

    FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY got all the lights on and the picks/sprays in the tree just before dinner time.

    It looks great.

    Now I have do all the ornaments and garland – and DS is excited to help.

    But it is a GOOD thing that I am back at work today. That tree and I are “on a break”. I just need some space, some time to come to terms with myself. And then we can work things out....
  2. MrsSoup

    MrsSoup Well-Known Member

    O.M.G.!!!! What an ordeal you and this tree have had! I think I would have picked up a bottle and commenced drinking just to not lose my ever loving mind. I sure hope your hand is okay.
  3. Minta

    Minta Administrator Staff Member

    Oh lordy .. I think after all that I would need a BOTTLE or 2 of wine. I hope your hand is better and that all the lights on the tree stay ON.
  4. jollykelly

    jollykelly Active Member

    Oh my, I must admit, I did get quite a laugh at this as I have been in similar situations. Seems like you handled it very well, hope your hand is better! Thanks for sharing
  5. luludou

    luludou Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry AJ but you have me laughing ;)

    The lights sure test our good humor!
  6. Ahorsesoul

    Ahorsesoul Santa's Elves

    This is the best Christmas light adventure ever. Your family will remember this for generations. You need a photo of you on the ladder with the tree.
  7. sweetpumkinpye

    sweetpumkinpye Well-Known Member

    Laughing so hard right now. Sorry that you have had a rough time but I am thinking that you have spared us all bad luck because there cannot be any more out there in the universe, you had it all.
    You must remember to journal this some where!!! Photos please
  8. Miss JoDee

    Miss JoDee Well-Known Member

    A Christmas adventure to remember. It's good that you and tree are taking a break from each other. Sorry, can't help laughing.:p
  9. Lolwlias

    Lolwlias Active Member

    Oh my gosh. This sounds so much like something that would happen to me. I hope your hand isn't hurting too badly. What an awesome story though. :D Maybe not awesome today.....but next Christmas you will be laughing about it.
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2017
  10. GrammaDeb

    GrammaDeb Well-Known Member

    I can't believe you didn't pitch it out the door. That would have been my response. (I had a good laugh at your expense - sorry.)
  11. piratemamaof3boys

    piratemamaof3boys Well-Known Member

    Oh man what a story. I am so sorry for your hand and craziness. I can relate.
    White the tree #1 now brown and falling apart. In the trash it went

    Take wide tree #2 to work and 2 strands of white cord lights. Tree brown and falling apart. Trash
    Said lights only 1/2 work. Trash

    Tree for DS18 room. 1 of the 3 strands work. Untangle and take off the lights. Restring the working one and trash the rest. Said tree was also crooked till I found the missing piece.

    Tree for back porch also missing lights. Added lights that work, half cut off, work again. WTH??

    Bought and returned 4 laser light shows for the house including a awesome Star Wars one and a mickey mouse one.

    Replace almost all the village lights on a shelf above the door only to seebobe today out again.

    Purchased 2 new small trees, so far so good.

    I feel your pain.
  12. GrammaDeb

    GrammaDeb Well-Known Member

    Oh goodness. How frustrating.
  13. luludou

    luludou Well-Known Member

    Last year I bought new lights for the whole tree.... yesterday read last year's comment on FB, quite an ordeal.
  14. sweetpumkinpye

    sweetpumkinpye Well-Known Member

    Am decorating tomorrow...fingers crossed that it all goes smoothly:)
  15. AuntJamelle

    AuntJamelle Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys! I knew this would be an understanding crowd.

    Tree is still not done. House is a wreck. Way behind schedule - trying not to think about it.

    Why, you ask? Because somebody didn't wash their hands (I've been eating a lot of fast food lately and I just shudder to think) and I have been down with the stomach flu since last Tuesday morning.

    I'm still home - still not back to "normal". My poor husband. It's just been ridiculous. We had to cancel our annual Christmas party this past weekend. I missed my target for shipping gifts yesterday. Etc. and so on, bah humbug. :)

    On the positive side I've dropped about 6 lbs so far.

  16. sweetpumkinpye

    sweetpumkinpye Well-Known Member

    Oh AJ, sorry that things have been so rough for you. Hope that you get well soon and can get back on track.

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