Keeping sane in unusual circumstances

[nursemomtothree]

If I sit and think about the Holiday Season too much this year, I can get really stressed. DH was without a job from Jan. '08 to Aug. '08. So, the fact that he is in Tampa, Fl. with a job is actually a blessing. The kids and I are in Ohio waiting for the house to sell. We spent the last 6 months totally decluttering the house to get ready for putting it on the market. So, I'm just in maintenance mode with routines and maybe a second culling of some things, staying ready for showings ( haven't had one in three weekends) and planning for the Holidays.

The unknown is what stresses me out. Will we be visiting family in TN for Christmas or will our belongings be on a moving truck over Christmas break. Can I plan my decorations for Thanksgiving and Christmas, or will the rooms be totally different, in a different house in a different climate ?

I'm just gonna list what I know, and maybe you guys can give any advise if you've moved over the holidays. ( We've always moved during the summer months) If we don't move between now and December, I'm stressing over nothing.

* Start with HGP and go as far as I can, then pick up after I move
* Thanksgiving will be immediate family in Ohio so we can visit and decorate for Christmas. - Grandparents will be over Christmas in TN
* I need to really look at some "value" questions and "traditions" - schedule things that are important over the time we'll be with DH - he comes home twice a month.
* The kids are old enough ( 8,11,13) to realize that things may be some different this year (and why)

I'm probably worrying over nothing, and I know it's my perfectionism that could prevent me from letting go. Trust me. Our Holidays look nothing like Martha Stewart, but at least we're usually a family unit.

Thanks so much for "listening". I'm usually hyped over HGP, but this year it feels like there's a big dark cloud hanging over my head.

 

[InstantMom]

Bless your heart, Rebecca. Although I haven't been in this situation, I have had some unusual holidays of my own - here is my two cents.

I think you are wise to focus on your values and traditions. If you put your time and energy and money into the things that are truly essential for your family, then you can breathe a little easier. While you're working the HGP, maybe you could draw up a list for each category of holiday prep, and ask your kids and husband to pick the 5 (or 10, whatever number seems manageable) items that mean the most to them. Then you can give yourself permission to take things a little easier.

Most of all, keep in mind that this is one season of your life, and that the things you cannot do this year, for whatever reason, may reappear a few years down the road. There is a time for going all out and a time for scaling back, and there's nothing wrong with either. Do what you can do joyfully, and let the rest go.

(And should you find yourself in Tampa for Christmas, let me know, and I'll meet you at the Christmas store in Brooksville - not to be missed!)

Take care -
MaryAnn

 

[SparkleNana]

Nursemomtothree - I agree with you. Having everything up in the air - and having no control over important things in your life - is very very stressful! This is NOT an easy situation.

Plus - your childrens' lives are also out of their control. They really do not know when they will be leaving their school and friends. Do they even know which house they will be moving into, and which school they will be attending?

And - your husband is under big stress too. Trying to succeed in a new job situation. And missing the people he loves. And worrying about how the move will affect everyone he loves most!

So - what to do? First, I would try to be gentle to everyone. Be most gentle to yourself - while the children are at school. Indulge yourself -- get books from the library - or read magazines at the library. Go for walks. Buy your favorite coffee. Use hand lotion. Send your husband emails about everything that is going on with the kids and with you, and keep them as funny and positive as you can (for his sake and for your sake.) Tell him how much you love him and miss him all the time. Come here and read the boards and be with your MMH family! We care about you very much, and are sending prayers and love.

It is not easy for any of you. We will be with you every step of the way. :grouphug:

 

[nursemomtothree]

Thank you both so much for your replies. Your words of advise and encouragement mean the world to me. I have good days and bad days, but I'll make it through. Staying on tasks with the HGP gives me something positive to focus on.