Todays Countdown Message

[Lolwlias]

Todays daily message was a good one. We all have those expectations of the "perfect" holiday. I usually have them for Thanksgiving, for Christmas and also once a month for my Family Dinner Day.
Our next FDD (Family Dinner Day) is Nov 11th. We'll celebrate ds's b'day, his wife's bday, and my b'day.
I think of FDD as a holiday, because family should be celebrated, you know?
Often, I am let down, but sometimes, the day just feels real good.
This year, things are going to be tight financially. They've been tight before and we've always made it through, but I feel that with the rising fuel costs things are going to be REAL tight this year.
I'm going to try my best to not have those unrealistic expectations of the perfect holiday, the perfect family, and the perfect home.
As long as there is love for everyone there, that's all we need, right?
CEO's message today was just the right one.

 

[Gingerbug]

This is something I struggle with too.....trying for perfect and then being disappointed....or stressed. I have gotten better with it but it still pops up at times...one thing that helped is to switch from what my idea of perfect is!! Its NOT the decor or the food or the gifts....its the good times together...but you also know families....sometimes someone is grumpy or whatever and you have to get around that also!! LOL

 

[Ahorsesoul]

I've been missing out big time! I hardly ever look at the OC Home page! I need a knock on the head!

 

[Cathymac]

That is also one of my big demons-I have these huge grandiose ideas of Thanksgiving in a beautiful dining room with a huge antique table that seats 20 people, gleaming wood floors, fresh flowers and gorgeous pumpkins everywhere, matched (real) china, glowing silver and pristine crystal wine glasses....I have none of those. My "dining room" is an end of my kitchen, my table is small, my floors are faux wood and they certainly don't gleam, my pumpkins are still green, my flowers are silk, my dishes are from the dollar store, my silver is stainless and my crystal glasses are mismatched tumblers. Doesn't matter...we don't drink wine! Oh, well. We make the best of what we have and are thankful to have it! All of that is just stuff. Still, it's hard to marry reality with fantasy. I'll probably never have a Christmas at a snowy ski lodge with a huge tree, fireplace, etc. But, I have my family, we do have a tree and a fireplace, and on Christmas morning, it doesn't matter! We've all heard it over and over-heck, we may have even said it-but the truth is that STUFF DOESN'T MATTER! It's the memories. Ok, stepping down off of soapbox now!

 

[Ahorsesoul]

Cathymac, I'd rather come to your house instead of your dream Thanksgiving any day!

:turkey:

 

[peppermint pattie]

I have been to those other THanksgiving meals where everything matched but it wasn't as much fun. I was afraid I would do something wrong or knock something off. The hostess ran around the whole time trying to get more tea...At my house we used disposable plates and I don't have a fancy dining room either. We don't spend all afternoon washing dishes. We enjoy each others company. :friendly:

 

[coffeenut]

I agree with the others who have said that it is being with family that is the most important. I come from a family where the biggest event of the year was having every one home for Christmas. I am the oldest of three girls and we all live in different states. We had a tree and big dinner and all that goes along with it. The thing I remember the most is the quality time I spent with my parents.(especially my dad). To this day, My Christmas gift is being at home with my sisters and mom off my soapbox. I am a huge sentimentialist and it is the little things that I find the most joy in. This is my ideal Christmas :tree:

 

[aggy]

I too dream of my place looking like something in those magazines but that will never happen and I don't care. I make due with what I have and I'm thankful. I can make the cheapest things look nice with a little tweaking. I don't want people coming to my home scare to sit or touch anything. I always tell them these things are here to be used, not for display so use them. What's important is that we are together and everyone has a good time. Relax, act like this is your home. Kick your shoes off. Stretch out if you like. I do things in my place to make everyone feel warm and cozy, not to make them feel like they are in a museum.

 

[Woman]

I lived in a house for 12 years that had a formal dining room and living room-the only time we went into these two rooms was at Thanksgiving and Christmas-now I live in a small house with no formal dining room or living room and I love it because it is very family friendly-my grandson 2 1/2 comes and takes the covers off my lighted ghosts and wears them when he comes to visit-he touches the tree-eats on the couch-spills things on the floor-but who cares-I can alway clean up after he goes-life is too short to have things that are not used and enjoyed-I find that there is much more love in the
family when everyone is relaxed and enjoys themself-this is what I want when people come to my home-WOMAN

:friendly: :friendly: :friendly:

 

[SmilingSandra]

This message is powerful for me because I always want people to be happy, get along and I guess I do want everything just 'so' when I entertain. But, what I've learned is sometimes the most memorable times happen when something is spontaneous. Usually and inevitabley there is more to go wrong if you have the entire day planned out. And really, who wants to run around worried and anxious instead of enjoying the company of friends and family at Thanksgiving and Christmas.

 

[christmascreations]

Smilingsandra I love your blog!!! Pink donuts and all!!! I had fun reading your That's what I think of that" blog followed by a 3out of 5 donuts rating :rotflol: It definitely gave me a chuckle early in the morning and I haven't had my tea yet!!!

 

[Holiday Joy]

Cathymac, I loved your post about wanting everything matching and beautiful. Growing up (until Mom got a set of china from my brother!), our holiday dinner dishes didn't match, the silverware NEVER matched (who knew it was supposed to? We all had our favorite forks, spoons ) the glassware was mismatched (until we bought them goblets for their 25th). We crowded dining room, kitchen and folding chairs around the table, bumped elbows constantly, and had the BEST holiday meals ever! Favorite family memories of growing up, for the whole family, center around Thanksgiving dinners at that mismatched table. Thanks for helping me to remember that and not to stress about hosting 'perfectly' this year.
My 'china' is mismatched plates. They are all white, with gold stars or swirls or both, and sit on gold colored chargers, but if you look closely (no one seems to!), only four of any kind match. I love it, though. My dream is 'Old Country Roses', but I'm happy with my Fred Meyer, Target, Walmart eclectic mix.
I'd take a Thanksgiving at Mom's table any day!

 

[Cathymac]

Holiday Joy-another thing I've discovered over the years is that I'm the only one that notices when things don't go as I'd planned...lol!

 

[HouseElf]

I think my vision of a perfect holiday is pretty "low-key" for most people, but I still have a fingernail hold upon it! :haha:

Even if the holidays appear "difficult" for a variety of reasons over the years, I pray my boys will look back with fond memorys!

 

[Holiday Joy]

Yes, it's truly the memories that matter, not some vague idea of perfection. You're so right, HouseElf!

 

[mycupoftea]

I am one of those people who has the perfectly set table - guilty. My great-grandmothers antique over-sized plates, a perfectly made centerpiece, creatively made place card holders, cloth napkins and matching glassware. But I am a plate fanactic - I currently own and use on a rotating basis, 14 sets of dishes, most of them transferware. I love a beautifully set table. I'm weird that way. However, my table scape fetish isn't the holiday. I expect food to be good, done at the right time, family to be happy. I have over the years learned the key to this is me. I need to be relaxed, enjoying the day and ready to adapt plans if things go wrong. I keep a detailed schedule of when things should be getting done that includes enough me time that I am not overtired and stressed. I assign jobs to people early enough that they know what they are supposed to be doing and only need a gentle "now" instead of crowding in my kitchen asking "Can I help" while I am frantically trying to figure every thing out. I'd have to say, largely in part to Organized Christmas, that my holiday mood matches my table every year now - just beautiful. ilgrim:

 

[Lolwlias]

The first year that DH and I spent Christmas together, we had all 8 kids. His boys were only with us every other holiday.
It was totally chaotic and totally perfect. What made it perfect was there was no resentments felt by anyone yet and no family feuds.
Right now dss is not speaking to dmil. DSS's both seem to have some feelings of resentment toward dh. (MIL told me that one remarked that dh always did things for my kids and not them, and I totally am wondering where that remark came from....because I've always felt he's never done anywhere near as much for my kids as his own!!!)
So, I guess that was where my "perfect" remarks were coming from.
It wasn't so much about place settings and decorations.
Right now, my dining room table is all decked out in my fall decor. It looks beautiful. I love it. However, that's just a decoration.
Tomorrow, for FDD, what will make the day "perfect" is everyone showing up.
What will make the day "perfect" is if my dsd will stop hating me simply because I'm in her father's life. (She accused me of being the reason her parents weren't together...yet they split because her mom left her dad for someone else before I ever knew they esixted in this world. All I did was give her dad a reason to stop sitting at home wishing she'd come back. It's been 15 years and I'm still not accepted by her.) Right now, she is "polite" to me. I'd really like to be as close to her as I am to dil. <sigh>
I know I cannot force her to like me and accept me. So, that's basically where my "perfect" remarks come in.

 

[Jingle Belle]

Lolwlias, step parent/step child relationships can be very difficult, even in the best of circumstances. It sounds like you are handling it as best you can. Good luck. When I struggle with my 14 year old DD, I always try to remember that someday when she is more mature, our relationship will be different, just as my mom's and mine is now, even though we certainly had our disagreements when I was that age.

To address the other part of a "perfect Christmas," I am guilty of having those high expectations, of knocking myself out trying to make everything beautiful, and matching, and coordinated. However, I am a very aesthetically oriented person and I personally take great pleasure in things looking my idea of beautiful. I do it for myself as much as for others. However, what I do try to keep in mind is that if I am so exhausted that I am cranky and don't feel good, I am not able to enjoy things no matter how lovely they appear.