I spend a lot of time planning and preparing for Christmas. This Rudy Day I started thinking about the Christmas traditions that I decided to break, both years ago and recently. Anyone else have traditions that they have decided to break and it proved to be one of the best decisions they have ever made?
1. Buying my cousins children a Christmas gift.
This was a tradition that I had to break, it was not easy, but it had to be done. My finances were low and we were struggling one year. I looked over my Christmas list to see where I could cut expenses, this was one of them. You see at one time (when we were children) I was very close to my cousin. However, as often happens, we grew apart as we started "adulting". It's not that we do not love each dearly, we do, but we had grown apart, both geographically and emotionally. She moved 2 states away, I did not really even know my cousins children, nor did I see them at Christmas. We were simply mailing each other gift cards. I would send them to her 2 children, she would send one to mine child. I called her and explained the situation we were in, I wanted to level set expectations. The conversation went OK, not great but OK..... but I am glad that it happened.
2. Traveling Christmas Day
When we had our daughter, everyone in the both families wanted to see the baby. We would have to travel to my parents house (45 minutes one way), then to my MIL (another hour in the opposite direction), then to my FIL (30 minutes from there). All while making sure that we were at my parents house when my sister was there with her children, on time for dinner at my FIL, etc. It seemed we spent the entire Christmas day traveling, upsetting seemingly everyone (the parents and in laws for not staying long enough, not staying to eat, etc. upsetting the baby for so much in and out and time in the car, ultimately my husband and myself would end up upset with each other as well). After two years of this, something had to change and this "tradition" had to break. I decided that I would host Christmas and whoever wanted to see us that day was invited. It took a few years but now almost the entire family joins me at my house, minus the MIL who cannot even be in the same room with my FIL. I am OK with that!
3. The Christmas Card List
I would spend night after night filling out and addressing Christmas cards. Like 200 + cards. Every family member and friend received a card. Some that I never even heard from since last year when I sent them a card. Some sent cards in return, most didn't. This was a huge time sucker up for me, as well as expensive for the cards/labels/postage. I needed to break this tradition. I looked at the list and decided to pare it down. I now only sends cards to people that I truly love. My list is down to about 25 people. I am not sure if that says something bad about me, but I had to do it. Funny thing is, not a single person that got cut from the list ever asked about a card, if I was OK, just radio silenced.
4. Saying "yes" to everything
Once I started organizing my Christmas and preparing all year, it didn't take long for people to notice. The requests started to come in..."Can you organize the office Christmas party? Can you put together the Sunday School pageant" "Maybe you can host the cookie exchange" On and on it went. I had a hard time saying no, so I said yes to everything. It seemed that once I said yes one year, I was the designated person for life. I found myself overwhelmed and burnt out. I decided this had to change and I had to break this tradition. I gave myself permission to say no and practiced saying "I am honored that you thought of me, I just can't do it at this time" I now pick and choose what I can take on, and I realized that it is OK to say for no, for no other reason than I want a quiet night at home with my family.
5. The endless assortment of Christmas Cookies
I love baking Christmas cookies, and I would spend hours for days on end in the kitchen, baking every kind of cookie I could find a recipe for. I believe my record was 22 different kinds of cookies. After all that hard work, I found that my family really only liked about 5 kinds and I ended up throwing a lot of them way. Such a waste of time and money. I had to break that tradition. Now I bake only what everyone enjoys the most. I gave up on the magazine cover-like displays. Who cares if the tray does not have wide variety of color and sizes and shapes? My family likes the basics....sugar cookies, cut outs, peanut butter blossoms, snicker doodles, and chocolate chip. I love baking these so it is a win win for everyone, including my wallet.
6. Stocking Junk
I love a nice full stocking hanging on the shelf on Christmas morning. As a matter of fact, the stocking is the most fun for me. It is the last thing that we open, after all of the gifts, after the French toast casserole, but before the extended family comes over. It is always a nice time. I would struggle with what to fill the stocking with for my DD. I tried to get a nice mixture of necessity stuff (body wash, lotion), candy (chocolate bars, caramels), hair and make up stuff (hair ties, nail polish) and Christmas novelty things (jingle ball pen, Christmas socks). After doing this, it would barely fill up the toe of the stocking. What was I to do? I should of bought a smaller stocking, but no I went the other way and started to buy more junk. More candy that would not get eaten, more novelty stuff (puzzles she didn't care about, blinking necklaces that she would never wear), and more, and more, and more. At last, the stocking was filled and the wallet was empty. This was a tradition that had to break. Now, the stocking is just as meaningful, and just as fun and special, but......I do not buy more just so that it is more. I get what I think is perfect and if it ends up just filling up the toe, that is OK
1. Buying my cousins children a Christmas gift.
This was a tradition that I had to break, it was not easy, but it had to be done. My finances were low and we were struggling one year. I looked over my Christmas list to see where I could cut expenses, this was one of them. You see at one time (when we were children) I was very close to my cousin. However, as often happens, we grew apart as we started "adulting". It's not that we do not love each dearly, we do, but we had grown apart, both geographically and emotionally. She moved 2 states away, I did not really even know my cousins children, nor did I see them at Christmas. We were simply mailing each other gift cards. I would send them to her 2 children, she would send one to mine child. I called her and explained the situation we were in, I wanted to level set expectations. The conversation went OK, not great but OK..... but I am glad that it happened.
2. Traveling Christmas Day
When we had our daughter, everyone in the both families wanted to see the baby. We would have to travel to my parents house (45 minutes one way), then to my MIL (another hour in the opposite direction), then to my FIL (30 minutes from there). All while making sure that we were at my parents house when my sister was there with her children, on time for dinner at my FIL, etc. It seemed we spent the entire Christmas day traveling, upsetting seemingly everyone (the parents and in laws for not staying long enough, not staying to eat, etc. upsetting the baby for so much in and out and time in the car, ultimately my husband and myself would end up upset with each other as well). After two years of this, something had to change and this "tradition" had to break. I decided that I would host Christmas and whoever wanted to see us that day was invited. It took a few years but now almost the entire family joins me at my house, minus the MIL who cannot even be in the same room with my FIL. I am OK with that!
3. The Christmas Card List
I would spend night after night filling out and addressing Christmas cards. Like 200 + cards. Every family member and friend received a card. Some that I never even heard from since last year when I sent them a card. Some sent cards in return, most didn't. This was a huge time sucker up for me, as well as expensive for the cards/labels/postage. I needed to break this tradition. I looked at the list and decided to pare it down. I now only sends cards to people that I truly love. My list is down to about 25 people. I am not sure if that says something bad about me, but I had to do it. Funny thing is, not a single person that got cut from the list ever asked about a card, if I was OK, just radio silenced.
4. Saying "yes" to everything
Once I started organizing my Christmas and preparing all year, it didn't take long for people to notice. The requests started to come in..."Can you organize the office Christmas party? Can you put together the Sunday School pageant" "Maybe you can host the cookie exchange" On and on it went. I had a hard time saying no, so I said yes to everything. It seemed that once I said yes one year, I was the designated person for life. I found myself overwhelmed and burnt out. I decided this had to change and I had to break this tradition. I gave myself permission to say no and practiced saying "I am honored that you thought of me, I just can't do it at this time" I now pick and choose what I can take on, and I realized that it is OK to say for no, for no other reason than I want a quiet night at home with my family.
5. The endless assortment of Christmas Cookies
I love baking Christmas cookies, and I would spend hours for days on end in the kitchen, baking every kind of cookie I could find a recipe for. I believe my record was 22 different kinds of cookies. After all that hard work, I found that my family really only liked about 5 kinds and I ended up throwing a lot of them way. Such a waste of time and money. I had to break that tradition. Now I bake only what everyone enjoys the most. I gave up on the magazine cover-like displays. Who cares if the tray does not have wide variety of color and sizes and shapes? My family likes the basics....sugar cookies, cut outs, peanut butter blossoms, snicker doodles, and chocolate chip. I love baking these so it is a win win for everyone, including my wallet.
6. Stocking Junk
I love a nice full stocking hanging on the shelf on Christmas morning. As a matter of fact, the stocking is the most fun for me. It is the last thing that we open, after all of the gifts, after the French toast casserole, but before the extended family comes over. It is always a nice time. I would struggle with what to fill the stocking with for my DD. I tried to get a nice mixture of necessity stuff (body wash, lotion), candy (chocolate bars, caramels), hair and make up stuff (hair ties, nail polish) and Christmas novelty things (jingle ball pen, Christmas socks). After doing this, it would barely fill up the toe of the stocking. What was I to do? I should of bought a smaller stocking, but no I went the other way and started to buy more junk. More candy that would not get eaten, more novelty stuff (puzzles she didn't care about, blinking necklaces that she would never wear), and more, and more, and more. At last, the stocking was filled and the wallet was empty. This was a tradition that had to break. Now, the stocking is just as meaningful, and just as fun and special, but......I do not buy more just so that it is more. I get what I think is perfect and if it ends up just filling up the toe, that is OK