I have 2 teenage kids. All they really want for Christmas is money or gift cards. There is no sense in me shopping for them because our tastes differ greatly! It is so hard to accept that I don't have little ones to shop for anymore. I love filling the Chirstmas tree with lots of presents. Alas, those days are gone. My tree looks so barren. We don't even buy gifts for grandparents. They prefer gift cards also. So my shopping is very small. ;-( I LOVE to shop but have no reason to do so. Learning to accept this has been really difficult for me. I know lots of people are envious of my situation but don't be. It really takes the fun out of Christmas when you have no small babies anymore.
Learning to accept reality
- Thread starter conniemac
- Start date
I can understand. Its harder as they get older and their taste change and things get more expensive. Maybe you could find some angel tree kids or another family to help?
I know what you mean. Maybe you can still by little gifts as stocking stuffers - favorite shampoos, soaps, etc.
I also know my DS will happily receive underwear and socks so he doesn't have to spend his $ on them.
And I insist that he get at least one toy on the holiday - usually a lego or transformer..
I also know my DS will happily receive underwear and socks so he doesn't have to spend his $ on them.
And I insist that he get at least one toy on the holiday - usually a lego or transformer..
That is such a shame! I'm lucky that my three children all love Christmas as much as I do and even though they are now 39, 37 and 32 we still run the same system that I started when they were teenagers and my two DILs have happily joined in. Everyone writes a long list of things they would like varying in price from inexpensive to more expensive. I then choose things from the list and everyone is happy, I know that I'm buying what they want and they have the excitement of not knowing quite what will be in the packages under the tree. They all still had stockings while they were living at home and all were in their mid twenties when they left. My mum did a stocking for me until I got married so I just carried on the same way.
Maybe it would be worth suggesting the list system to your teens?
Maybe it would be worth suggesting the list system to your teens?
I agree with Piratemama- buy for the angel tree.
I bought for a boy and a girl last year and had so much fun!!!
I truly felt Christmas in my heart while I was shopping and wrapping the gifts for those children!!!
If your tree seems empty- wrap empty boxes for the effect. Maybe seeing all those empty boxes will make your children realize, hey- we do want actual presents.
Annie
I bought for a boy and a girl last year and had so much fun!!!
I truly felt Christmas in my heart while I was shopping and wrapping the gifts for those children!!!
If your tree seems empty- wrap empty boxes for the effect. Maybe seeing all those empty boxes will make your children realize, hey- we do want actual presents.
Annie
I think you should shop for yourself and wrap those gifts for under the tree. Mark them as from Santa. You could also check with your local hospital about kids who will be staying there for the holidays and you could shop for them. And get really creative with wrapping your kids GCs.
My kids did that for a few years and my sister's boys ask only for $$ and gc. BUT one year one of them was here when my kids opened their gifts (they had a book, a dvd, some clothes, and something they really wanted + their stockings). He said Christmas was more fun here! He did not even have ONE gift to unwrap and his gifts were double the $$ of what I gave my kids.
Now the kids prefer gifts - I've started buying a few small things for when they move later on so that's fun to buy and I buy cute things.
Now the kids prefer gifts - I've started buying a few small things for when they move later on so that's fun to buy and I buy cute things.
I find it goes in stages, gifts may be back on your list before you know it.
My youngest wanted only GC two years ago - but last year asked for something as a 'surprise' because he missed that part
We all have to travel that road at some time, hang in there, and focus on the parts that you enjoy too.
My youngest wanted only GC two years ago - but last year asked for something as a 'surprise' because he missed that part
We all have to travel that road at some time, hang in there, and focus on the parts that you enjoy too.
Connie, my heart goes out to you. Our whole life evolves around our children and suddenly they have their own opinions and independence leaving little empty pockets in our hearts. It's all part of life.
I did okay when they pulled away as teenagers and even when they moved out of the home and got married. Now 2 of the 3 boys are building/buying out of town. This has me very unsettled. I'm already lonesome and they haven't left yet.
Dad always told me that when they are little, they step on your toes but when they are older they often step on your heart. I'm beginning to understand what that meant.
I did okay when they pulled away as teenagers and even when they moved out of the home and got married. Now 2 of the 3 boys are building/buying out of town. This has me very unsettled. I'm already lonesome and they haven't left yet.
Dad always told me that when they are little, they step on your toes but when they are older they often step on your heart. I'm beginning to understand what that meant.
My husband is bound and determined that since ours are teenagers, they get a couple big gifts and that is it. My teenager DD is bound and determined that she has lots of gifts to open even if we wrap, as she said, each eyeliner separately! I am blessed that my kids love & understand my need for Christmas. LOL
Connie, my DS often wants GCs too, and I do get him one or two, but I also buy some gifts. I guess I should do what he wants and get all GCs. I make him be very specific about what he wants, though when I do buy. He'll give me a website, even bookmark it on my computer so I know where to go. I'm like you, I hate the not having any gifts for people to unwrap.
As I have read through so many posts, I have come to realize that we all are passing through what is the normal stages of the family life cycle. It's interesting to see how each of us handles the changes and to get advice on how different ones of us cope with the changes. I think about how we all are connected through this. I've got a DD going away to college. Ellen has two DSs moving away. Many of us are struggling with trying to keep traditions we've had for years because someone in our family has the notion that it should be done differently. Change is hard, isn't it? I don't like change, but by coming here, I get support and I see that it is universal. It's not just happening to me.
So, thanks everyone, for being willing to share and show support.
As I have read through so many posts, I have come to realize that we all are passing through what is the normal stages of the family life cycle. It's interesting to see how each of us handles the changes and to get advice on how different ones of us cope with the changes. I think about how we all are connected through this. I've got a DD going away to college. Ellen has two DSs moving away. Many of us are struggling with trying to keep traditions we've had for years because someone in our family has the notion that it should be done differently. Change is hard, isn't it? I don't like change, but by coming here, I get support and I see that it is universal. It's not just happening to me.
So, thanks everyone, for being willing to share and show support.
Thank you all for the encouraging words and support! I do participate in many charities during the holiday's. It's just not getting to see the receipients face when they open the gifts that depresses me.
I too ask my kids to make a list with specific items on it. However, they both have jobs and make their own money so they are not dependent on Santa bringing them things. LOL! They just buy what they want when they want it. They usually only have big ticket items on their lists so they may only get the one item on their list.
Another thing, we travel every Christmas to OH to spend the holidays with my family. We exchange gifts before we go. So we don't even really "do" Christmas on Christmas. It's always a couple of days before. I don't even put up all the decorations anymore. I put up a small tabletop tree and the nativity. I do fill their stockings and take those with me for Christmas morning at my parents house. My dh and I stay in a hotel and my kids stay with my parents so we have to wait until we get to their house to open the stockings.
I don't mean to complain. I am greatful that we get to spend the holiday with my elderly parents and extended family each year. It is truly a blessing that everyone is still healthy and going strong. I treat every Christmas as a tremendous gift knowing that it may very well be the last one with the entire family together. Things happen and we never know when there will be an empty chair at the table.
I will do my best to accept the changes in my family dynamic and make the best of it. But between you and me, I can't wait for grandchildren!!!! LOL!
I too ask my kids to make a list with specific items on it. However, they both have jobs and make their own money so they are not dependent on Santa bringing them things. LOL! They just buy what they want when they want it. They usually only have big ticket items on their lists so they may only get the one item on their list.
Another thing, we travel every Christmas to OH to spend the holidays with my family. We exchange gifts before we go. So we don't even really "do" Christmas on Christmas. It's always a couple of days before. I don't even put up all the decorations anymore. I put up a small tabletop tree and the nativity. I do fill their stockings and take those with me for Christmas morning at my parents house. My dh and I stay in a hotel and my kids stay with my parents so we have to wait until we get to their house to open the stockings.
I don't mean to complain. I am greatful that we get to spend the holiday with my elderly parents and extended family each year. It is truly a blessing that everyone is still healthy and going strong. I treat every Christmas as a tremendous gift knowing that it may very well be the last one with the entire family together. Things happen and we never know when there will be an empty chair at the table.
I will do my best to accept the changes in my family dynamic and make the best of it. But between you and me, I can't wait for grandchildren!!!! LOL!
here are some GC wrapping ideas
http://magicalholidayhome.com/forum/showthread.php?p=206025#post206025
http://magicalholidayhome.com/forum/showthread.php?p=206025#post206025
Connie - years ago before my brother and I were married with kids, we celebrated Christmas at my mom's with a total of 12-15 adults (several of my mom's siblings and spouses). We all slept over Christmas eve and Christmas night and we also missed the fun of opening lots of gifts and the excitement that children bring. My mom decided to bring back some of the old traditions anyway...one year she bought my brother and I "matching" Christmas PJs the way she always had when we were younger. Of course all of the other adults were jealous so we decided to pick names and to buy PJs and stocking stuffers for that person the next year. It took on a life of its own and before we knew it we had "theme" years and a fashion show was required. You didn't have to sleep in the PJS you were given, but you were expected to have them on for breakfast in the morning and to open the stockings. Now that we have children back in the equation, we've let our PJ tradition slip but we still do the stockings (all wrapped) - that's my favorite part.
As for lots of presents under the tree...who says you can't wrap up those GCs in different size boxes! Make them work for it!
As for lots of presents under the tree...who says you can't wrap up those GCs in different size boxes! Make them work for it!
Conniemac, I understand how you feel. My boys are 17, 14, and my youngest will be 13 next month. All ds17 wants and needs is money so he can have the freedom to drive more and go out with friends. Ds14 usually has a bunch of money because there is nothing he can think of to spend it on. I too, feel like all the thoughts that go into shopping for those perfect gifts is part of the Christmas spirit. It's not the getting, but the giving and the love and thought that goes into the whole process. Even though money and gift cards or things they hand pick themselves are starting to become more likely for me too. I still plan on finding at least 1-3 smaller, less expensive gifts. I actually end up having to shop more, (rather than having to stop all shopping), keeping my eyes open all year for ideas. I do find that there are little things that they love. Ds 14 tends to really love different socks And quirkier things (he absolutely loves his dress socks with bananas on them), so I'm on the lookout for some fun/cool socks. I found a nozzle that sprays the soap on the car instead of needing a bucket for when ds17 washes his truck. I look for little things that maybe aren't' so common but not expensive either so they still have little surprises to open and I still get some of the feeling you get when you want to give gifts.
Since your kids have jobs, is it possible for everyone to participate in a white elephant type gift exchange for when you get back from your trip. You can set a very low $ limit. Then you will also get to still see the presents under the tree, and have some fun with your family opening gifts.
I think you should still put out your Christmas decorations, and put them up as early as possible so you can enjoy them. I think they really help with that Christmas spirit.
I think setting a shopping date with yourself for the angel trree, or the toy store for Toys for Tots, like Annie suggested would be fun. Make a day of it and go out to lunch. I think Ahorsesoul had an excellent suggestion of putting something under the tree for you too.
Since your kids have jobs, is it possible for everyone to participate in a white elephant type gift exchange for when you get back from your trip. You can set a very low $ limit. Then you will also get to still see the presents under the tree, and have some fun with your family opening gifts.
I think you should still put out your Christmas decorations, and put them up as early as possible so you can enjoy them. I think they really help with that Christmas spirit.
I think setting a shopping date with yourself for the angel trree, or the toy store for Toys for Tots, like Annie suggested would be fun. Make a day of it and go out to lunch. I think Ahorsesoul had an excellent suggestion of putting something under the tree for you too.
Conniemac- I think you should still do all your decorating for the holidays.
Christmas isn't just one day- it's a season. Having your house decorated with a tree, soft lights, I think it will really warm your heart.
And like Colleen said- with my niece (now 21)- as part of her gift several years back I got her some fuzzy, fluffy socks. Now, this girl gets everything she asks for- Christmas or not-from her parents.
You know what happened?? A couple months before Christmas the next year she said, "Aunt Anne, I hope you get me some more of those super comfy socks. Those were my favorite!"
Sometimes a more simple, tangible gift is something they truly want even if they don't realize that's what they want.
Annie
Christmas isn't just one day- it's a season. Having your house decorated with a tree, soft lights, I think it will really warm your heart.
And like Colleen said- with my niece (now 21)- as part of her gift several years back I got her some fuzzy, fluffy socks. Now, this girl gets everything she asks for- Christmas or not-from her parents.
You know what happened?? A couple months before Christmas the next year she said, "Aunt Anne, I hope you get me some more of those super comfy socks. Those were my favorite!"
Sometimes a more simple, tangible gift is something they truly want even if they don't realize that's what they want.
Annie
What about getting them some DVDs - especially the new releases that they want. You could also make a snack basket or another reusable container that they could use. Fill it up with snacks/drinks that you know they will enjoy. Wrap that.
A themed coffee mug of something they like and included hot chocolate packets. Dont forget to include a bag of mini marshmallows. Wrap up in a box.
Buy a few pairs of slipper socks/crazy socks - wrap up in a small box.
Could they use a new alarm clock, lamp for their bedroom or a clip on light to attach to the bed?
New pillows/body pillow or comforters for their beds.
A themed coffee mug of something they like and included hot chocolate packets. Dont forget to include a bag of mini marshmallows. Wrap up in a box.
Buy a few pairs of slipper socks/crazy socks - wrap up in a small box.
Could they use a new alarm clock, lamp for their bedroom or a clip on light to attach to the bed?
New pillows/body pillow or comforters for their beds.
When we all got too old for stockings from mom, she started giving each of us including my children bags. She just buys small things that we would like, and fills a gift bag. We love opening all those things! She will get my boys (ages 29,22,17) things like: sd cards,usb sticks,snacks they like,paperback books,if they like sports teams you can always find small keychains,cups etc. The girls get things like nailpolish,lip balm,pot holders,baking supplies etc. I am now doing this with my oldest one as he is now married and has a baby.
My kids have all been gone for a while. My DD and her children are in Florida and haven’t been home for Christmas in ten years.
I like to buy gifts for my friend’s and special people in my life; I wrap all of their gifts and store them under my tree.
I started making stockings for my boys 2 years ago as a gag, (they are both grown now) I filled them with tweezers a manicure set for men a rubics cube some chocolate candy made to look like coal just little stuff.
They loved it. So now I do it every year. My DD and her kids will be here for Christmas this year and I am thinking about getting empty paint cans at Lowes and decorating them with scrap book paper and filling them up with their stuffer's and sitting them all under the tree.
I have seen some cute paint cans decorated at some crops, so I will do them up with Christmas papers and ribbons. If I have time LOL so many projects so little time.
I REFUSE TO ACCEPT REALITY! MY REALITY IS WHAT I MAKE IT! HO, HO, HO!
And I decorate every year I am celebrating the birth of my Savior and if no one see's my decorations it doesn't matter. I see them and My Lord see's them.
I like to buy gifts for my friend’s and special people in my life; I wrap all of their gifts and store them under my tree.
I started making stockings for my boys 2 years ago as a gag, (they are both grown now) I filled them with tweezers a manicure set for men a rubics cube some chocolate candy made to look like coal just little stuff.
They loved it. So now I do it every year. My DD and her kids will be here for Christmas this year and I am thinking about getting empty paint cans at Lowes and decorating them with scrap book paper and filling them up with their stuffer's and sitting them all under the tree.
I have seen some cute paint cans decorated at some crops, so I will do them up with Christmas papers and ribbons. If I have time LOL so many projects so little time.
I REFUSE TO ACCEPT REALITY! MY REALITY IS WHAT I MAKE IT! HO, HO, HO!
And I decorate every year I am celebrating the birth of my Savior and if no one see's my decorations it doesn't matter. I see them and My Lord see's them.
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I also have two teenagers and an 8 year old. The difference in their age makes it a little challenging, too. But, I am pretty determined to keep to our annual traditions. For several years I did 12 Days of Christmas and for the last couple of years we did 25 Days of Christmas. My oldest son will be 17 this Christmas. Last year he was trying my patience a little...as 16yo boys can do. But, we kept doing our nightly activities. Sometimes, I coerced his participation because there were gifts that I held hostage until the end. LOL. But, other nights I just went about doing the things we do with him or without him. It was a little irritating that sometimes he wouldn't get off the computer and do things with us. But, whatever...I try to pick my battles. This year I am thinking I might just plan 12 Days again because it did take a little of the fun out of it for me.
I get the part about not being home at Christmas. We stayed home last year; but it was the very first time my 8 yo had ever been at our house for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. My parents live in Florida and we usually go there or meet somewhere in the middle. That is one reason I started doing the 12 Days. We would open a present and do an activity each day because we would usually leave around the 23rd. I put up the tree and decorate the house anyway because these are a few of my favorite things.
I get the part about not being home at Christmas. We stayed home last year; but it was the very first time my 8 yo had ever been at our house for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. My parents live in Florida and we usually go there or meet somewhere in the middle. That is one reason I started doing the 12 Days. We would open a present and do an activity each day because we would usually leave around the 23rd. I put up the tree and decorate the house anyway because these are a few of my favorite things.