Son Back Home after IKE

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Dakotasmamaw

Retire Member
I wasnt sure where to post this. I could use some help.... My DS age 29s house was pretty much tore up from Ike. AND WE ARE IN KENTUCKY !!....Anyway, he will be with us thru Christmas. I feel so sorry for him. He has just his clothes, his stuff we could save is in storage and he and his 70lb boxer are in my basement. This just happened, so he is kinda living out of boxes and sleeping on a couch. He moved out 3 years ago to buy his house , so this is hard on him. The renovations will take a long time and the kid doesnt make much money and works hard. I want to make this home again for him, but NOT really disrupt too much, cause he wont allow it. He is just so grateful to have somewhere to go, that he wont let me do hardly anything for him, especially spend money to redo the basement for just a few months, which really he is right. Sorry, to be so long on here, but can anyone give me any suggestions to make him feel more at home. I will need to figure something to hang clothes, I have a small dresser to move down there, but he is also very depressed. Any ideas of things I could do to cheer him up and again, make him feel comfortable without guilt ????? thanks for anything.
 

SparkleNana

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Jan 3, 2008
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Dakotasmamaw - How great that you have a place for your son! And how wonderful for you to be able to get this extra time with him.

About the depression about Ike -- first of all, that seems like a pretty normal and reasonable reaction. I imagine there are many millions of people in our country suffering stress and depression from the effects of the hurricanes.

The first thing I would think about, is the dog! Boxers are supposed to be wonderful, loving, intelligent dogs. Can you - or another family member - take care of the dog while your son is at his job and working on his house? Do you like dogs? Owners usually really, really love their dogs. And if you make the dog welcome, and show affection towards the dog, I think that would go a long way towards making your son feel comfortable.

Other than that -- a television set that gets cable - in the basement, so he can escape and have some "alone time". The television set could be his Christmas present, if his own TV set was ruined by Ike. :grouphug:
 

Pam Spaur

Well-Known Member
Premiere Member
Jul 17, 2008
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Muncie, IN
Dakotamamaw~

My heart goes out to you and your family. The main thing is just to wrap him in love. Maybe the Red Cross could help....whether with some ideas for support (emotional, financial, physical) or suggestions on how to start rebuilding. There must be support groups somewhere for people who have suffered so terribly. Makes my car trouble pale by comparison. I will pray for him and his dog!! It is hard on our canine companions. I think they sense when we are sad, don't you?

As far as your "lower level" (as it is called these days): how about an area rug, maybe an end table (you can always use a wooden t.v. table or one of the round particle board tables), you have the sofa, a couple of milk crates for books or movies or an extra bookcase if you have it. Some throw pillows, lamps. A pic of him and his dog. Could you get a rolling rack to hang his clothes on, if necessary?

And mostly, remember: this, too, shall pass. It didn't come to stay. Again, don't forget all the love and support you and the rest of the family can muster. Blessings to you all!

:bigsnow:
 

Ahorsesoul

Moderator
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Oct 13, 2007
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A few therapy sessions to learn how to deal with this disaster. Disaters use to be a way of live generations ago, now it's not. If he won't go, you go to learn how to help him handle this loss.

Just be there for him will be enough.
 

Dakotasmamaw

Retire Member
WOW , all you guys brought tears to my eyes. Ive been trying to be so strong for him, that reading these just made me melt. Thank you so much. Some really great ideas, and YES, I love the dog too. I had picked him out for Matts birthday 4 years ago. So, the Red Cross is a great idea for some emotional support.
You guys are so great, I sing the praises of this board daily to friends at work and my family. This just proves it.

Thanks..... I will love him and that dog forever and I will make sure to let them know it. It will make Christmas even more special, Ali, (the dog) never had his own stocking here, but he will now !! I picked up a clothes hangy thing at Target at lunch and my husband is moving his drawing table(what a guy) out of the basement area and making room for Matts bed, that he just got him. So, before Matt gets home from work, we will have the room rearranged and his things put away.
Thanks for the ideas and moral support !!

YOU GUYS ROCK !!! :party:
 

Kim Loves Snow

Santa's Elves
Premiere Member
Aug 3, 2008
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Richmond, Virginia
I agree with what everyone here has said and I too am so sorry to hear about his home. My suggestion is to need him - I mean ask him to help you occasionally - maybe hang a picture, reach something on a high shelf, carry a box, etc. By making him feel like is contributing to your needs, too he might be more open to receiving help from you. I'll keep your family in my thoughts.
 

Grammyk

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Jan 14, 2008
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Did he lose his appliances. If so, watch and buy a microwave on sale that he can have in his down under room. (what my kids call it when they come home) If he is a coffee drinker, maybe as time goes on a new coffee pot or one of those hot and cold water coolers. All of these things will be able to move with him of course. If he were female, we could consider these things part of his "hope chest". Good Luck!!