Something shifted in me this summer and I like it. I have taken some hefty courses so that I can become a better researcher of my family history. I have several lines that I felt like I should have been able to get back further after all of these years researching. Some of the problems in the courses were extremely difficult and challenging. Those problems showed me that sometimes, you can't answer the research question in the time and resources that you have and it's okay.
In mid-June, at the end of the last class I took, I had an one-on-one meeting with the teacher. She showed me why I couldn't find what I wanted to find. It had nothing to do with me. That's when I had my aha moment. I began to accept that some things really are beyond me answering based on what is known now. It was a reiteration that I can't always answer the research question in the time that I have and it's okay.
Since then, I've applied that idea that it's okay if I don't have the answer to the questions in life. I don't have to keep searching for the answer. While my word for the year is Complete as in finishing a task, I am actually feeling more complete as in fulfilled. Because I am feeling more fulfilled, I am completing more meaningful things.
Now that being said, we are entering the holiday cleaning and prepping season. I have completed the HHP to the best of my ability over the years. I am curious to see what happens. Will I feel fulfilled when I complete the plan? Will I do more meaning things?
