Laney~you have been thru the fire and more than once. I love your chosen word...joy. When I was a little girl (a very long time ago), I learned a song in Sunday School called JOY. "Jesus, others and you, what a wonderful way to spell joy." And joy will follow all the mourning. It is ok to feel sad, guilty, angry, and ultimately, joyful. God WILL be with you in each step that you take. Satan is trying to push you back, but we won't let him. Your MHH family will take this journey with you. When you are too tired to take another step, God will be there and so will we, to help you take it one step at a time.
Your friend's family must be in a lot of pain. And I am so sorry this has happened. I will be praying for you, and for her family. And I hope that they, like you, will find the joy that the Lord has for them.
God bless.