The more I read about other folk's Thanksgiving celebrations, the luckier I realize I am! We have always pot-lucked our family gatherings...and now that I host DH's side on the Saturday after Thanksgiving for their extended family celebration, I'm even more thankful. Of course, I usually end up doing the "big" stuff...turkey and dressing, the ham, etc. I do the potatoes usually, so that they can be hot when we eat, and I always do my "Southern Style Crockpot Green Beans", but I generally let everyone else do sides and desserts, and even the rolls. If anyone offers to help, by all means, let them. Make a list of all the sides you want to include and have it handy when someone calls or asks.
Paper products are perfectly acceptable if it helps you with clean up. I use pretty paper plates and napkins for the appetizers (while everyone is arriving), "real" dishes and fabric napkins for the main meal, then another coordinating paper setup for dessert. And I whole heartedly agree with the "dessert buffet" idea. In fact, our whole meal is buffet, just because we have around 40 or so at my mom's house on Tday, and around 25-30 at our tiny little cottage on the Saturday after.
The time line idea is also key. I agree...work backwards on that. Figure out what needs to be on the table when, how long it takes and count back. Also...more good advice is to do EVERYTHING you can early. Excellent tip. I try to do a relish tray with pickles, olives, etc and sometimes I do it a couple of days early, wrap it as tightly as I can with plastic wrap and put it in the extra fridge. Same with desserts, the dressing (my neighbor makes her Christmas dressing at the same time, then freezes it...), the ham (if you have it...that may be a Southern thing..) and any thing else you can figure out to do early.
Starting the week of Tgiving, all of my serving dishes come out of the cabinet and sit on the counter with sticky notes stuck to them saying "cranberry sauce" or "turkey" or "salad", so that when it's time to dish up those items, I'm ready!