Y'know, when I think back to the "perfect Christmases" that I'm trying to duplicate, it's really got nothing to do with whether or not the bows were straight on the packages, or the wrapping paper matched, or if the turkey was too dry, or any of that.
The Christmases I want to match are the ones when I was a kid, and we were surrounded by friends and family, and the love was so thick you could reach out and touch it. The Christmas Eve parties when our house was bursting at the seams from the amount of people inside singing and laughing and eating and enjoying each others' company are the sweetest memories I own. Just smelling certain scents can bring those happy times flashing back so fast!
Christmas of 06 was a terrible year for us. My husband and I can't have children, we've gone through every fertility treatment and drug out there. I thought I had a stomach virus starting on December 18th of 2006 and it just wouldn't quit. Finally, on Christmas Day, I went to the emergency room, where they did a pregnancy test and discovered I was pregnant, but the ultrasound showed I was miscarrying. I didn't even know I was pregnant, it had been 2 years since our last fertility treatment. They gave me a shot of a high-level pain killer that I turned out to be allergic to. Couple that with gallbladder issues at the same time, and I was miserable until halfway through February. This is by far the worst Christmas I can imagine. As you might guess, my expectations have changed somewhat.
This year we're licensed foster parents, so my expectation is that we'll be able to give that perfect Christmas from my youth to a kid who's known nothing but tragedy. I want to fill them up with the love that only Christ himself can bring, and give them at least one sweet memory that they can carry with them through other hard times they'll be sure to face. I'm sure I'll be stressed a little, and probably will worry about some silly things (including where to get more matching wrapping paper because I just ran out), but overall I think I'm better off for having experienced both extremes of the holiday spectrum.