John 16:20 (NIV) - I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.
The past year has been a very difficult one for me that has lead me to a dark and lonely place. On June 27, 2010 I gave birth to my precious baby boy, Gabriel at only 18 weeks. I never got to hold him, but instead planned a funeral. The pain and sorrow that I feel as I go through life having had to go through this, knowing that I will never go through life's firsts with him is heartbreaking. Christmas was almost unbearable as my due date would have been Dec. 8th and I should have been at home celebrating my favorite season with my new baby. Instead, every decoration, activity and song reminded me of just how empty my arms were. There were good moments - we still tried to make it as special as we could for our 3yo DD, but it all felt empty overall. Life altogether feels empty.
I know that grief and mourning are very normal for what I am going through, but I don't want to live my life like this. A book that I recently read about a Christian's journey through the loss of a child had the verse John 16:20 in it. It is a beautiful reminder that God not only has the power to turn our grief to joy, but that He has a purpose for our pain and He will bring us through the fire.
This year will be my journey as I depend on God to turn my grief into joy. It may not be pretty at times. But I know my God is good and will lead me through it.
The past year has been a very difficult one for me that has lead me to a dark and lonely place. On June 27, 2010 I gave birth to my precious baby boy, Gabriel at only 18 weeks. I never got to hold him, but instead planned a funeral. The pain and sorrow that I feel as I go through life having had to go through this, knowing that I will never go through life's firsts with him is heartbreaking. Christmas was almost unbearable as my due date would have been Dec. 8th and I should have been at home celebrating my favorite season with my new baby. Instead, every decoration, activity and song reminded me of just how empty my arms were. There were good moments - we still tried to make it as special as we could for our 3yo DD, but it all felt empty overall. Life altogether feels empty.
I know that grief and mourning are very normal for what I am going through, but I don't want to live my life like this. A book that I recently read about a Christian's journey through the loss of a child had the verse John 16:20 in it. It is a beautiful reminder that God not only has the power to turn our grief to joy, but that He has a purpose for our pain and He will bring us through the fire.
This year will be my journey as I depend on God to turn my grief into joy. It may not be pretty at times. But I know my God is good and will lead me through it.