Anyone else married to Scrooge?
- Thread starter Holiday Joy
- Start date
One would think I was, but I know his mom...and I'm working to overcome her training...LOL! We're making progress, and he finally admits loving the holidays!
I don't have a Scrooge per se, but I don have a DH who doesn't like to think much about christmas until about 2 weeks before. He will take the boxes out of the attic, but only when we are well into December (and if we are getting a real tree, can't do that too early either). He'll sort out the lights but lets me decorate the tree (even when I have put the decors on, I change things around, but he thinks that I don't approve of where he puts them - I don't, but I don't approve of my own either!!). He did go out a couple of years ago and buy a set of lights for outdoors, and he drapes those over a tree in the front garden (I am not allowed have any involvement except to admire the finished result).
I don't think he actually has a clue how much it costs to get all the presents - I do most of the shopping and budgeting (but I always stick well within my original baseline). And I get things over the year, and make things over the year, which cuts costs a lot. I put money away direct from my paycheck every fortnight all year, and this covers Christmas and also my summer holiday spending money every year, with some leftover.
I think he is used to me going nuts about Christmas (and a few other things too). He rolls his eyes and lets me get on with it, but enjoys the end results. (He thought I was a total fruitcake for getting an allotment for growing vegetables for example, but he has enjoyed helping there when he can and really enjoys the results on his dinnerplate!! :haha: ). As long as I don't expect him to get too involved, but arrange it so that when he moves past his work deadlines (it's usually a very busy period just before Christmas), there are things (jobs, shopping or whatever) that he can still do for or with me, and there are family outings we can go on without him having to knuckle under and tackle a laundry mountain or entertain the hordes before he has unwound a bit, then it works well for us.
And having the toddler has definitely made a difference as this year (she will be 3 just after Christmas), he has had a chat with Santa and arranged temporary storage of a large item in his mother's house (we will be just down the road this Christmas), as well as booking our holiday accomdation - neither of which were prompted by me!!
I don't think he actually has a clue how much it costs to get all the presents - I do most of the shopping and budgeting (but I always stick well within my original baseline). And I get things over the year, and make things over the year, which cuts costs a lot. I put money away direct from my paycheck every fortnight all year, and this covers Christmas and also my summer holiday spending money every year, with some leftover.
I think he is used to me going nuts about Christmas (and a few other things too). He rolls his eyes and lets me get on with it, but enjoys the end results. (He thought I was a total fruitcake for getting an allotment for growing vegetables for example, but he has enjoyed helping there when he can and really enjoys the results on his dinnerplate!! :haha: ). As long as I don't expect him to get too involved, but arrange it so that when he moves past his work deadlines (it's usually a very busy period just before Christmas), there are things (jobs, shopping or whatever) that he can still do for or with me, and there are family outings we can go on without him having to knuckle under and tackle a laundry mountain or entertain the hordes before he has unwound a bit, then it works well for us.
And having the toddler has definitely made a difference as this year (she will be 3 just after Christmas), he has had a chat with Santa and arranged temporary storage of a large item in his mother's house (we will be just down the road this Christmas), as well as booking our holiday accomdation - neither of which were prompted by me!!
Once the countdown hits 99 days to go I'll be putting out my little countdown Santa. I put him out the same time every year and every year my DH always moans about it being too early! But my DD8 loves counting down the days and I think it adds to the excitement. Sometimes I feel a little sad that he doesn't enjoy the run up to Christmas as much as I do but at least he enjoys Christmas Day itself. Then my only problem is convincing him that the decorations should stay up to the 6th January and not come down on Boxing Day! :roll:
Christmas is a very important time for me. It's when I reconnect with family and friends I have lost contact with thru the year, and it's a time to revisit traditions of my childhood. My husband has learned to accept my crazy Christmas fetish year round.
BUT..he never realized how this made me special in some ways. Last year, I discovered he was having a year long affair with a woman he met on the internet, and I discovered this, the day BEFORE Christmas and had to hold off on confrontation until the day AFTER Christmas. It made my holiday terrible and this is one thing I held up to him.
We are recovering from his infidelity now, and during a marriage counseling session, he admitted that the worse thing he did in his life besides having the affair, was ruining my Christmas. He admitted that he knows how special this holiday is for me and how my yearlong celebration is part of what makes me special. I put so much thought into the "right" gift for people and the thought behind it, and he knows this is how I show my love for family and friends.
BUT..he never realized how this made me special in some ways. Last year, I discovered he was having a year long affair with a woman he met on the internet, and I discovered this, the day BEFORE Christmas and had to hold off on confrontation until the day AFTER Christmas. It made my holiday terrible and this is one thing I held up to him.
We are recovering from his infidelity now, and during a marriage counseling session, he admitted that the worse thing he did in his life besides having the affair, was ruining my Christmas. He admitted that he knows how special this holiday is for me and how my yearlong celebration is part of what makes me special. I put so much thought into the "right" gift for people and the thought behind it, and he knows this is how I show my love for family and friends.
When DH and I first go together he wasn't much into Christmas... but mainly because it wasn't much fun in his family as a child. It was a tedious day of lots of picture taking, going to church (not getting those church clothes dirty!!) and having to wait until the afternoon to open gifts!!! :sad:
Now 6 years later, he LOVES Christmas and has really taken to a lot of my family traditions (he especially likes the fact that since I'm German, we open our gifts on Christmas Eve!!) :haha: He has really embraced it and chaulks it up to me being a "Christmas Nut...so how can you NOT like christmas living in our house!!" Happily our DD2 is following in mommy's footsteps! (I'm so proud!)
Now 6 years later, he LOVES Christmas and has really taken to a lot of my family traditions (he especially likes the fact that since I'm German, we open our gifts on Christmas Eve!!) :haha: He has really embraced it and chaulks it up to me being a "Christmas Nut...so how can you NOT like christmas living in our house!!" Happily our DD2 is following in mommy's footsteps! (I'm so proud!)
My husband grew up with his Great Grandparents and christmas was never a big deal. The first year we were dating he was so surprised by the way that our family celebrated he actually cried with joy. So he gives me free rein with the christmas preparations, and gets really involved when he can. He tells all his friends that our boxing day get together is actually a planning day for the next christmas....
I think that's the reason my DH is not so into Christmas. His parents didn't seem to make it really magical for him. More often than not his Dad was working so it was just him,his brother and Mum. Now that his parents have grandchildren I think they enjoy it more, also his Dad now has time off at Christmas. I can remember my Dad having to go to work for a few hours every Christmas Day but it was still a magical time in our house. Certainly my DH had his eyes opened that first Christmas we were together and I suppose he has mellowed a bit. But,unfortunately,he still moans every 30th November when I get the tree sorted but in my house the decorations were always put up on the 1st December and that's not ever going to change! :tree: ;-)
I find it kind of sad that so many people have mentioned that Christmas was never that special for their significant others when they were growing up. :frown: All religious aspects aside, isn't Christmas supposed to be for children? (and us Christmas nuts of course!!) My own daughter will grow up knowing the Christmas is a SPECIAL time of year when we celebrate family, love and togetherness :grouphug: ...it will never be a time of year that she needs to dread. It's just sad that so many people aren't aware of our happy Christmas world!! :rudolph:
Syanda said:
I think that a lot of why so many had a bad experience with Christmas as a child was due to an alcoholic parent or parent's. I know ,it is very sad I do agree.
My ex always said that it was just another day.
In his eyes the only day that was special was HIS birthday.He's a drinker.
Syanda said:
It's great that you daughter will have wonderful memories. We are trying to do the same for our kids.
My hubby and I talk alot about our holidays growing up and there have been some good ones and not so good ones. The ones that were not so good were due to money issues. Some years there was not alot of money left over for Christmas after the bills were paid for and during those years Christmas was played down.
My DH coaches high school ice hockey, so Christmas is a nuisance in his season. One year he actually got angry because the high school athletic director cancelled a hockey game that was schedule for 2:00 on Christmas eve in a town 45 minutes awas (a game, btw, lasts 2 hours). He gets mad at me when I ask him to help me with things, like getting the tree out of the attic. He is out of the house 3 hours 4 nights a week and has games two nights.
I feel a tremendous amount of pressure sometimes becasue I know that if I don't do something, then it isn't going to get done, and I want my kids to have the warm, fuzzy memories about Christmas that I do.
However, there is a small ray of hope....last year I started the tradition of the magic elves, and he really got into staging the "mischief". He would wake me up when he got in from hockey practice (sometimes they can only get ice time at 9 or 10 at night) and ask if it was a "mischief" night. If it was, he would come up with something clever. So who knows, maybe I can slowly win him over to how fun it all is.
I feel a tremendous amount of pressure sometimes becasue I know that if I don't do something, then it isn't going to get done, and I want my kids to have the warm, fuzzy memories about Christmas that I do.
However, there is a small ray of hope....last year I started the tradition of the magic elves, and he really got into staging the "mischief". He would wake me up when he got in from hockey practice (sometimes they can only get ice time at 9 or 10 at night) and ask if it was a "mischief" night. If it was, he would come up with something clever. So who knows, maybe I can slowly win him over to how fun it all is.
Hi everyone - this is my first post !! LOVE this forum.
I must be lucky as my hubby is already starting to watch Christmas specials of our favourite TV programs that we have on DVD to get us in the mood for organising Christmas.
We have already been buying food and drink with long dates to put away for December, and a gift or two for family and the kids.
He is excited for the Elf magic we've decided to start this year (our son is 3, his sister will get her elf another year as she is only 9 weeks old). He worries about the cost but as long as things aren't overly extravagant and I can handle the crafty parts of the plans he's all for it.
We LOVE Christmas - he is the one who gets all the things for the tree down and ready. We usually do it as close to the 1st Dec as possible, sometimes a day or two before if thats when the weekend falls.
Now realising how fab he is (will have to make his stocking extra special LOL) - he has mentioned which advent calender he wants about 100 times this weeks LOL
I must be lucky as my hubby is already starting to watch Christmas specials of our favourite TV programs that we have on DVD to get us in the mood for organising Christmas.
We have already been buying food and drink with long dates to put away for December, and a gift or two for family and the kids.
He is excited for the Elf magic we've decided to start this year (our son is 3, his sister will get her elf another year as she is only 9 weeks old). He worries about the cost but as long as things aren't overly extravagant and I can handle the crafty parts of the plans he's all for it.
We LOVE Christmas - he is the one who gets all the things for the tree down and ready. We usually do it as close to the 1st Dec as possible, sometimes a day or two before if thats when the weekend falls.
Now realising how fab he is (will have to make his stocking extra special LOL) - he has mentioned which advent calender he wants about 100 times this weeks LOL